Katniss Thinks
by Peeta's Lover
Summary: It starts with Katniss's thought on life after Catching Fire, and turns into a world wind of action and romance! R&R please. Rated T: violence, small sensuality, gore, and depression.
1. Depressing Details

**Hi! This is my first story, so I'd appreciate any criticism (good or bad). **

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games books are property to Susan Collins, I own nothing.**

I can't believe it, I thought. My depression over loosing Peeta has been deepened over the fact District 12 is gone forever… or at least a very long while. Apparently District 13 is still around and people are living in it. But District 12 is like a naïve little child, they didn't think that the Capitol would destroy them when it was I who did all the mocking towards them. That thought has just brought me back to what I've been in turmoil of thinking over for the past couple of days.

Four things have got my attention in a vice grip. Peeta is gone and I have _got_ to save him no matter what. I believe I would die emotionally if he was to leave me. Now that I've had two Hunger Games and the days on this aircraft to think about my feelings towards him, I see that Peeta will always hold a part of my heart in his warm hands. I loved him, yes I loved him. The boy with the bread has stolen my heart. I can imagine what the Capitol is doing to Peeta.

Are they dissecting him like a pig? Are they electrocuting him to insanity? Are they dicing him up to serve to their horrid dog/human muttations that I got acquainted with in the first Hunger Games? Or are they waiting until I get stronger to come and save him so they can use him as bait? Yep, that's what I was thinking. Bait.

The second thing is District 13. What the heck? How could they have lived through all those toxic bombs? Haymitch said something about them burying their new little city underground, but still! The toxic waste could've seeped through the ground and poisoned them all! My mind reels to think of finally land and see that everyone there is just a pile of bones, their flesh burned off by the noxious chemicals. No, no, says Haymitch. They have protection. They started protecting themselves against this sort of happening years before the bombing. Pugh-lease. The Capitol would've found out of their secret calls and meetings. Haymitch said that's why they built their underground fortress, to save them if the Capitol found out.

It was all coming to me in pieces of information. I was so far under in my depression that I was only visited by Haymitch, who gave me food at regular intervals. Haymitch, Haymitch. I wonder what's going inside his head. _Where's the vodka?_ No, I know he's got to be on his toes for the slightest change in plans. He has turned over a new leaf in the face of the death of all of us.

My third order of business is lesser than the other two dramatically, but nonetheless, has plagued my mind since after the first Hunger Games. Gale has, or had, feelings for me. He wanted to run away with me for God's sake! He wanted to leave District 12 into the unknown with me, just like what I think happened to the red-haired Avox girl and her man friend. He wanted to leave behind our families, who we both adore to the fullest, no exceptions! How could this happen?

Peeta planned on giving up his life for me on several huge occasions. Then again, Gale has had my back all those times out in the wild. Peeta confessed his love for me at the very start of our relationship. Gale had many years to explain his feelings, and never took them. But maybe he thought that I thought of him as a friend. Peeta and Gale want to have children with me one day.

Peeta would love the child until the end of time. He'd teach them the secret skills of baking, how to tie a knot, how to be a romantic, how to throw a knife, how to aim perfectly, how to kill someone with just a quick snap of their necks.


	2. Trust Issues

**My new chapter is up! I hope you all will at least like it. R&R, please. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games trilogy. (I only wish I did.)**

The Hunger Games have been drifting heavier and heavier into my dreams. Sometimes I can hear Haymitch or Gale by my side trying to calm me, but alls I want is Peeta to slip into the bed with me and comfort me like a child. Like the child I probably won't ever have with him because the Capitol will kill him and me before I ever get to see his bright, blue eyes again. Peeta, come back to me! _Peeta!_

Gale would be a good father as well. He would be able to provide for our family. If we had a boy, Gale would teach them how to hunt and survive in the woods. If it was a girl, he'd show her how to mend to injuries and play it safe while still having fun. Gale, why? Why'd you have to go ahead and like me when I was perfectly fine being best friends with you?! Gale, what am I going to do with you?

The truth is I see them both in my dreams. They both, in separate dreams, are sitting by a crackling fire, rocking in a creaky chair that can't be fixed, and their faces flushed from the day's activity. I'm sitting across from them. Sometimes my mom and Prim will come into the dream, or my dad, or future children. We'd all sit listening to Peeta's accounts on the Hunger Games, or how he fell for me. Other dreams, Gale would throw his arms about describing our adventures in the woods or in the Hob. Both dreams leave me at peace.

The fourth, most important thing, besides saving Peeta, is District 12. That thought always leaves me crying. Ever since Gale told me a couple of night ago, I worry consistently. Gale says my mom and Prim got out, and also a lot of other people, but how does he know that? _HOW?_ My world has been destroyed! My home, my school, the Hob, the woods, my life, have all been shattered to nothing! To dust!

This was all the Capitol's fault! _How dare them!_ If they had just believed and made others believe that Peeta and I were content with living happily ever after with each other, then this all would have never happened! _No. _This could've been stopped long before the berries. I could've not trusted Peeta. I should've stuck with the plan of surviving, not saving someone else's skin along the way. I trusted someone, and it has led to the destruction of my life, my family's life, and really, just everything I've ever known.

I trusted my mother to hold up right when my father died, that failed. I trusted Gale to be my friend, fail. I trusted Rue to survive, TRUSTED, and she failed me! I trusted my father to be there always, fail. I put _my trust _in Haymitch to keep Peeta and me safe, ultra fail! I trusted Haymitch, Effie, Finnick, Johanna, Beetee, Wiress, and even Plutarch Heavensbee (head Gamemaker) for a short while, to keep my world in good motion, but they FAILED!

Now what. What am I going to do? I'm going to stop trusting. Everyone. How do I know for positive that this all isn't just an illusion by the Capitol? I don't know. I can't trust anything or anyone. I am shutting the people who I trusted out of my heart. I can't trust anymore. Not Peeta, not Prim, not Gale, not my mom, not Haymitch. Not Rue or my father if they were suddenly to show up, which is impossible. I can't trust anyone. Not one.

_I don't even know if I can trust myself._

**What do you think? I thought it came out fantastically! I spent like an hour on this, just typing away. Tell me what you think, pretty please with sprinkles on top!**


	3. Fiery Hope

**Hi! I worked my buttocks off for you subscribers to make this super-duperty good. I hope you like it. PLEASE, FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY, REVIEW!! GAH!!! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own a darn thing of the Hunger Games. Dang it. **

Trust. What a silly thing. I wish I never even knew what it felt like. I wish I never knew what it felt like to put your faith in someone else's palms and be elated to find they hold that faith tight but not too tight… and then have it crushed. Hate. Hate is what I feel for trust.

Yesterday I woke up. I didn't wake up and doze for awhile, or mope, or think about what has been done. No, I woke up for real. I locked the door to the room I was in, took a shower, dressed in a blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans and some black leather boots, and headed out the door for the first time to truly look around.

I don't know if there are cameras or not, but either way, no one intervenes with my searching. Every door I tried was unlocked. I saw more bedrooms like the one I just was in, hospital rooms, bathrooms, high-tech computer rooms, eating rooms, ball rooms, small clothes rooms, and many more. I couldn't imagine how big this hovercraft must be. But, it couldn't be big enough to where I haven't seen anyone my entire walk.

_Clang! Clang! Snap! Sceeeeecchh! _I turn on my heel and run to hide behind a pillar from the noise. God! What was that? I peek around the pillar to see two men, both dressed in business suits, arguing about… me.

"Katniss can't know about this new information. Not like she could handle it anyways. She's more depressed than anyone I've seen. The sweetheart can't seem to get out of her little daze," says one man. The 'sweetheart' catches my ear, and once that one man turns I know that it's Haymitch talking.

I rush down the hall, away from the men. I can't have my curiosity peak anymore. If it did, it would only lead me into more trouble, more secrets, more lies, and more deaths. I'm though with that. My plan is to get out of this place. I need to find a way out first. Part of my search of the aircraft was to find an exit, but every door just leads into a room with no other doors. After a few more hallways and no other signs of life, I get extremely frustrated. Where all the people? Where are the emergency exits? Where are the fire escapes? Where can I find a back door? _Well, Katniss, not this way will you find it._

"The computer room," I mutter as I backtrack to it. Of course, after I saw all the computer and television screens, they must have _some_ cameras, and it must feed back into the room where I can scout out an exit.

I come to it and it's still open. Just as I step though the door I hear the hushed voices inside: definitely the rough cadences of Haymitch's voice, and then Finnick's, I think. My thoughts were incorrect. I check with a quick glance inside. It was Haymitch but not Finnick, it was Gale. Oh no. I planned on none of this to happen. I planned on getting out unnoticed.

"Catnip, is that you?" Gale whispers. He's not looking at the door, which I was leaning against, but at his hands that he was ringing with anxiety.

"Shut up! It's not her, just your imagination. She's safely up in her room, where she'll gladly die of sorrow," Haymitch hisses. Yep, that's him alright.

"I keep thinking she's everywhere. I can't go through with this if I can't stay here to protect her."

"Gale, man up. We need you out there. With your arm healed up, you're essential to winning this thing, just like the rest of us. We need everyone together to make the plan work."

I'm thinking of all the possibilities of this plan. _No, Katniss. You have to leave. No more trusting, no more deceiving. _I move back from the door. I'll find a way out tomorrow. Though there are no exit doors, there are windows every couple of yards along the wall. I sneak a look, but I don't see anything special about the never changing forest outside. I do see that it's dark out and Haymitch will be handing me my supper soon.

It takes me several wrong turns until I find my way back to my room. I immediately fall to my bed, which seems to have grown extra layers since I've gone. Not really, I'm just bone tired. I haven't eaten at all for the past few days, and I've only gotten the water that has been pumped into my system. The mile I probably walked out there has exhausted my strength. A small mirror on my bedside table shows my worn face, hollow and depressing to look at, as I_ have_ been recently depressed. Now I am only determined to finish my small mission to get out of here.

Haymitch is right on cue. I've just dove under the covers when he flung the door open. He was clearly steamed about something. He knocked a lamp over with his large fist. He slams the tray of food down on a table in the corner of my room. I hear it creak with the sudden wait of his intensity.

"Listen up, girlie! You filth! You vile creature that doesn't deserve anything better than muck! Listen carefully to your mentor! You have driven me to drastic measures," I can see Haymitch raving with a peek at my mirror.

His face his purple with anger and his voice is in full out scare-me-to-death mode. He doesn't notice I'm out of my depression daze, too angry I suppose. He must think I don't want to hear him because I'm still mourning; but I'm listening with all my strength, since I know he's about to tell me something important. My hands are sweaty and my breathing is a bit more haggard.

Haymitch continues, "I have had it up to here with you! Without the face of the rebellion actually _starring_ in the rebellion, we can't move forward onto stage two. Stage two: we take a little visit to District 13. Excited aren't you, sweetheart, I can tell! We land tomorrow. No more eavesdropping for you, and no more trips around the hovercraft."

Damn! He does know everything! Crap, crap, crap, crap! I won't be able to leave. I won't be able to get on with my living in solitude in the wild. He leaves before I can fling of the hot covers and protest this turn of events. I can hardly digest all of this. I look at the food, take it into the bathroom and nibble on it: a measly PB & J sandwich with some orange juice. I rest my head on the cool tub and mull over what has just happened. Well, my plans are ruined and that's about that. I'll have to go with Haymitch's wishes because I can't really do anything else but die, and I really don't feel like suddenly giving up at this point.

There is a commotion outside my room. With a tentative knock and no further announcement of Haymitch's re-arrival, he comes in and sits at the table. I sit next to him, ready to pounce when needed.

He speaks slowly, most likely for my benefactor, as I am still thinking of everything, "I apologize about the uproar a moment ago. I'll have your lamp fixed," he mumbles. Hardly an apologize for the stir he caused, but I motion for him to finish with my hand, "I just need you to know what is going on if we are going to end our time in the dirty business of war."

My mouth is agape, I can't feel my body, and my mind is on the fritz. My mouth moves but nothing comes out as I try to form a proper sentence, or at least a word, as I did, "War."

"Yes, Katniss. War, indeed. You know what? I'll just let you rest for now. It seems you could use it," Haymitch says realizing my condition of shock.

Things have gotten worse. I_ still_ trusted no one and my life has gotten worse. Maybe I'm just prone to bad things happening to me. If you take a look at my life for the past couple of years, it has been nothing but 90% disaster and 10% happiness. I must form a new, inner-personal plan. I can't leave, I can't even think, so those two options are out of the question right now.

Haymitch has left me in the dark room. I lean against my pillow with the utmost care. My head is pounding with all this new information to be aware of and understand. I sigh and I'm trying to relax my muscles. They oblige, and I'm slowly drifting off into dream world.

This so called war, it can wait for me. I, Katniss, the girl who is on fire, will not give up or turn away from the problem at hand. I will fight. And I will certainly win. I've got the pressure of the world on my shoulders. Capitol, prepare to face your worst nightmare; your dreams will go up in flames.

**Hola! Whatcha think? Please review. I don't want to have to face a life (or story) without reviewing. **

**If you review, I will reward you with something extra special in the next chapter. If you review me and give some of your ideas, I will certainly look them over and put them into the story somewhere.**

**Thanks guys! See you next chapter!**

**P.S. Did you get the last line? It was a punny joke. Katniss is the girl on fire, and she's saying that the Capitol's dreams will go up in smoke. **_**Yea**_**, now you're getting it!**


	4. Boy! Decisions, Decisions

**Hiya! I have procrastinated on this, but I've finally got his chapter up. Thanks all of you guys who could take time to review my story. Remember, I accept all comments! Thanks to those who read my little game: give me an idea to put in the story and I'll do it. Of course, it has got to be reasonable. You know who you are that did so! Now… here it is!!**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing of the Hunger Games! (Darn)**

We've landed. We've landed in District 13. I'm afraid, so afraid that I've locked myself into my room. Haymitch and Finnick have been yelling outside my door for the last five minutes, and it's giving me a serious headache.

"Give me a minute! Ladies take time to get ready! I thought you knew, since you are both a bunch of nagging, old women!" I scream at the door. I chuckle to myself as Haymitch gives an exasperated sigh.

"Fine," He yells, and I can here them both retreating, "But hurry up! We've got a world waiting out there for us."

I grumble to myself over Haymitch and his short patience. Truth is I've been ready for hours. I couldn't sleep, decided to get ready and dressed, and alls I've been doing for the past couple of hours is worrying. You know why, too. We're in District 13! A year ago I laughed at this idea, and now I'm here to see it live, in person.

It's my heart that tells me that I won't be any readier than I am right now. Before I compute my actions, I'm out the door… down the hall… sliding doors open before me… Haymitch pressuring me to step forward into the vessel that will take us to the ground… my mind is slipping from me. Then we are landing, on this forbidden soil, and all I think is this is a trick, President Snow is here to kill me, and my life is officially gone from my grasp.

"God, girl!" Finnick yells at me.

I've been holding his hand without realizing it. He yanks it away, and rubs it furiously to regain circulation. I wipe my hands off on my shirt as they are sweaty enough to be their own waterfall. I feel the floor vibrate a bit as we land on the District 13's ground.

"Well, Katniss you'll be stepping out first, so the crowd can get their cheers out before we discuss the plan with them," Haymitch says to us all: me, Finnick, Gale, Plutarch Heavensbee, and a few other people who seem to know the plan all ready.

I glare at Haymitch. Thanks for throwing me to the sharks, Haymitch. I can't go out first, I'll faint surely! Also, what is the plan you may ask. I don't know what it is. This will be much as a surprise to me as it will be to the people of District 13.

I don't have time to think much at all, since Haymitch is pushing me to the front of the crowd before I react. The doors slide open with a _whoosh_. My hair spins around me in circles that get caught in my mouth and eyes. It takes a minute; I have to reposition myself, before I can acknowledge my audience.

"Oh my god," I gasp at the enormous horde of people standing and shrieking my name that stretch out for miles in front of me.

Well, not miles exactly. All my vision could contain was thousands of people as far as my eyes could see. They looked like you and me: regular pants and shirts, normal colored hair, and average bodies that have had no unusual development done on them (unlike the people of the Capitol). They kept screaming Katniss until I thought my eardrums would bust with overuse.

Thankfully, Haymitch stepped forth to take a mike and yelled over the crowd's straining windpipes, "Please, settle back down! We don't have time for this foolery! QUIET!!!" They shut up pretty fast; I would've too if I was them.

"Now that I've got your attention, go back to your houses and stay there 'til we've got things sorted out."

They all rushed to these secret doors in the ground that I didn't notice before. I didn't notice much at all but the massive crowd, now I looked. The land was barren, not a single leaf or shrub or one blade of grass. I did see the ruins of some of the buildings, like the ones we sometimes see on television, but this was unsettling different than what I expected. I expected there to be some life, maybe not human, but at least a mouse. No, there was not even a solitary mockingjay flying overhead. It was a dead land, no hope emanated from it, not one ounce.

I am now in a room much like the one I had on the hovercraft. I sit here impatiently as I wait for someone to come and fetch me for the meeting with the leaders of this underground colony. Hours pass and no one visits, not to even give me a beverage or a snack. I pace until I began to make a trail of dirt on the once perfectly white carpet.

"Ahhhh!" I cry into my pillow after I flung myself onto the overstuffed bed.

"I guess I'll come back at another time," Gale whispers from the doorway.

I was so consumed with my brief flash of anger that I didn't see him standing there in all his glory. I haven't talked to him since he told me about the destruction of District 12. I watch him walk slowly over and sit on the edge of my bed. It was like he didn't trust my temper, like I was an animal that couldn't be tamed. That made me ticked, and I instinctively clutched to the pillow so hard that when he reached to take my hand, I pulled a way so fast I ripped the pillow right down the seam. We stared at it for a minute then laughed like there was no tomorrow, which for us could be true.

"I've missed that smile like you can't believe," He muttered, his hand brushing hair from my face, and making me ever more uncomfortable about him sitting next to me so close.

If I loved him like I was supposed to (in his opinion) then I wouldn't care what he did to me, like brushing the hair out of my face, and I wouldn't care what others thought of it. I did, though, more than anything. Peeta, my mom, Haymitch, and President Snow flashed in front of my eyes, all reminding me that I will never be able to be with Gale unless we finished this monster, this war. Gale realized the awkwardness and took his hand away from my face.

"Anyways," He said louder with a touch of hardness, "I came to tell you the meeting is over. We didn't want you coming in your delicate condition after all that has happened."

My delicate condition? I thought he knew that I wasn't pregnant. He stressed the two words indicating he was mad at that so-called fact, and that leads to him not knowing the pregnancy is a con. I thought everyone knew by now, but apparently I've been mistaken. I stood up and stalked around to the bathroom, following along. There must be some reason Haymitch wouldn't want anyone else besides Finnick and Plutarch knowing. I couldn't think why right now, but there has to be some reason. As I stepped into the bathroom I pulled my shirt up to show a flat stomach. I held my breath at the pit of my torso, puffing it out.

"I wonder if I'm showing yet," I said looking back at Gale on the bed, and hoping my fake attempt at a slightly pregnant stomach wouldn't be exposed as a fraud.

Gale looked up at my face; I was trying to look like a happy expecting mother. I didn't try to stare at him too long because, well, he made me feel like crap. His eyes were filled with sorrow that I loved Peeta… that I had Peeta's child growing in my abdomen. It made me feel depressed, but also angry that he couldn't even try to be happy for me!

"You aren't mad?" He spoke up above my annoyance.

"What? About not going to the meeting? No. I wish you guys would've told me before I went to the trouble of picking out the right outfit, though," I spoke back, pointing at the black dress I actually _had_ planned on wearing tonight. I wanted to make a good impression on the leaders of District 13.

Gale stared at me with raised eyebrows. _Oh no_, I realized a second too late. I was _way_ out of character. He would never believe that Katniss Everdeen would get married without his permission (or to him), or get knocked up, or care what she wore unless it was a life or death situation. I laughed trying to disperse from that heavy criticism. Perhaps he would think the pregnant woman mood swings were doing this, or the games had changed me, or _something._ His glare was making me fidget. He glanced around the room allowing me a second to collect a lie to why I was acting this way.

"So, what do you have to say about all of this?" Gale says dismissing that ill at ease moment with a gesture around the room.

I sucked in a breath prepared to answer, when abruptly he jumped forth at me, pinning my hands to my side, and kissing me straight on the lips. I gasped into his mouth, surprised out of my wits! I hooked my foot up and caught him in his stomach. He immediately let go, backing away with his own realization of what he just did.

I combed my hair back with my fingers and hissed at him, "_What the heck do you think you are doing?!_ Are you determined to make this decision hard on me?"

His voice went dark and deep, rising from some place I've never seen, "_What choice?_ The choice of Peeta or me, is that it?"

"Yes what else!" I screamed at him.

"I don't know," Bitter and sarcastic was his tone, "I thought you made that _pretty damn clear_ when you became the father of his child, when you _made out with him_ in front of the _whole_ Panem, when _you didn't even stop_ to think I _loved _you too!"

"What?! I thought about it _long _before you probably did. You know what I _thought_; I _thought _we would live best taking care of our families and staying good friends. Then I _thought_ if you really liked me, you would have the _guts_ to say so!" I answered back with as much verve.

"Ha! You are just _too _stupid to even look under your own nose for it! I gave you _so_ many hints! I gave you every reason to make you believe I loved you, and I _still _do. It really doesn't matter now, since you already chose," Gale's face crumpled from his just-a-second-ago purple-faced rage.

My anger didn't subside at this compassionate break through, "How _dare _you! How dare you make me decide! If you _really_ loved me, this would've been forgotten after that kiss in the woods."

He smiled ruefully, "That was just a chance at seeing what it was like. I fought _hard_ for that kiss before this whole Hunger Games thing happened, and you didn't _see_. Peeta practically dies and gets whatever he wants from you, your life, which includes your kisses. He didn't need to work for those kisses, so I think I deserved a little love from you too."

"He doesn't own my life if that's what you are implying. I am my own _independent_ person. Yes, I guess you did deserve that kiss, but you could've just asked for it back when. Now it is too late, so don't try," I yell.

"He owns you, Katniss. You saved his life, he saved yours, and that means eternal gratitude from each of you to the other. It doesn't mean you each are done owing each other, like you think, but that you just sealed your fate with each other," Gale steps forward after he says that.

I've thought about my idea of owing people, so I got where he was coming from. My voice becomes softer, "I know now. I don't entirely think that's true, but who am I to know what love is and isn't."

Gale whispers, "Is it really too late for that kiss? I tried my best and I deserve a reward. Please, Katniss, we probably won't make it out of this war, and I want to know if I ever had a shot. I need to know Katniss."

My face burns hot. Gale is so close, a breath away. His eyes are smoldering, even in this darkly lit room. My hands shake, so I hold them behind my back as I lean forward, inch by inch. Gale closes the space and we are kissing. We are kissing with more passion than I could give Peeta after our first games were over

Gale doesn't realize Peeta worked for those kisses too. Peeta probably worked harder than Gale, maybe not as long, but definitely harder. Yes I gave Peeta many kisses, but I'm talking about the kisses that actually meant something, which was probably a third of what I actually kissed him. Peeta had to nearly give his life up for me so many times over that I can't count them. Right this second he is trapped with his life clutched in President Snow's hand, which is just another way Peeta is saving my life by risking his.

Gale is still kissing me. I'm still embarrassed I caved so easily to this. I feel shame over myself as I think of Peeta lying in a cell starving to death and only wishing for my wellness, and I am here kissing another man. Of course, I _too_ am thinking about him, and I feel _shame_ for what I am doing, so I have got to get some credit for that.

Gale breaks away and whispers into my hair, "I love this, just so you know. I love you loving me, and feel no remorse for it."

I push him towards the door and he doesn't leave 'til he gets to have one last peck on my cheek. As I close the door, I catch the light outside of my door sparkle on some metallic object. I glide over to it, and as my hand closes over it I become very aware. The object feels familiar, and I don't know what it triggered to cause such awareness.

I tug at it and a string pulls up with it. I keep pulling until I have about five feet of cord wrapped around my hand. The end of the cord strings into the wall vent. With a grunt and a kick, I get the wire out of the broken vent, and I understand what it is I'm holding. It is a black microphone and camera. I gasp as I understand why I became so aware at the familiarity of the camera. I am being watched. What just happened has been recorded and is being seen by the leaders of District 13.

I feel dread at this, but even worse dread as another idea plants in my brain. Why would District 13 have to watch us? Don't they trust us? Are the people of District 13 really here to help us or them selves? Do they want to end this war or supply it with hate only man, as a race, can produce? Where has our ship landed?

**That's that. Review please, please, please, please! I told you would get something extra special. What is going on with this 'plan' for the war? What of Katniss and Gale's kiss? Are the people of District 13 really planning on helping with the rebellion/war, or something more sinister and darker than Katniss can imagine? I will leave you thinking of these questions. Ta ta for now, darlings!**

**Yours truly,**

**Peeta's Lover**


	5. Lost and Found

**Hi! I left you on a cliffhanger**** which I can hardly stand myself. But I'm back and ready to roll with this chapter. I want to let all know a viewer of this story helped by submitting a couple of their ideas (you know who you are Pita****). Anyways, on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Hunger Games trilogy (though I should).**

Well, well, well. I'm at a cross road that only a genius can figure out which way to go. After I found the camera, I thought awhile about what I was going to do about it. I can either search it out by myself or have someone come with me; that decision is my cross road. Telling someone could lead to them telling more people, or getting trouble as well as me. Telling no one could mean that if I slip up I can't blame it on anyone. I think I'll take someone just in case.

Who should I take? Gale would be too much of a hassle as he knows close to nothing about what I'm feeling at the moment, and would just try to change my mind so I wouldn't get hurt (and neither would the baby-gag-). Haymitch, of course, I can't pick because he would put me on probation in my own room for the rest of this war. Plutarch, I hardly know the guy. Finnick, he would probably-what? He probably would agree with me. Finnick was indeed my obvious choice all along. He was cunning, secretive, educated in persuading (not just with his mind but also with his charming looks), and he could fight someone off if they tried to 'accidently' kill us.

I hopped from my bed and raced from the room. Where would he be? It was noon, and nearly lunch, so most likely heading to the cafeteria. I sprint down the corridor and round the corner and- BAM! I run right into Finnick… with my lips. We stumble back, and reacting to that, we both rap our arms around each other in an awkward embrace. Gale, Haymitch, and another man arrive out of nowhere and see us.

"What the-," Gale starts to say when Finnick pushes me off of him.

"Not what it looks like man, not what it looks like!" Finnick screams at the men while swiping at his mouth.

Haymitch steps up still confused, "Okay, what is going on," I start to explain when he cuts me off, "I don't really care. We have too much work to do at the moment. Snap to, Finnick!"

Finnick scurries off with Haymitch and the other man has disappeared while the commotion was going on. I wonder whether he lives here in District 13 and whether he saw me finding their hidden camera. I only think for a split second when I see Gale, furious and seething with jealousy.

"Gale that was a total accident; I was coming around the corner when-," I say, then he pushes me aside.

"I really don't need to here this," he stomps off, me trailing close behind him.

"Let's just talk about this-in here," I hiss at him and push him into a room randomly as more people near us.

"Katniss, I don't wan to here you explain. I know you don't feel for me like you would Peeta, but now you're hanging on Finnick? When did you start playing the field exactly?" Gale yells at me, slamming the door.

I didn't understand all of what he said because I was paying attention to all the TV screens surrounding us. Gale stopped his ranting long enough to notice what I was staring at. The screens showed various things that I figured were happening right now. The ones I noticed most were: the cafeteria with the crew in it, a room that Finnick and Haymitch were arguing in, my room, outside into the wide unknown, and another I had to get close to see.

It was a jail cell, dimly lit, but lit enough to see the bars, the filthy floor, and a solitary figure within. The person was a boy, frail and vulnerable looking they way he curled in to his undernourished body. The moon light, filtered through a dirty window, lit upon a golden head of hair and half a cheek, pale as a fresh blanket of snow. I gasped, Gale grabbed my arm, but I yanked away from him crouching down in front of the screen. I said his name and he looked up towards the light as if he heard me.

I said it again in more of a cry, "Peeta."

**Whoa! What is Katniss going to do?! She has the strange District 13 camera to deal with and District 13's secrets, and now she has to save Peeta! Sorry it is a little short, but I wanted to get straight to the point so I could get on to the next chapter to give you something exciting! Thanks for all the reviews! Keep reviewing, please!**

**Yours truly, **

**Peeta's Lover**


	6. Your alive, I'm alive

**Yo, yo, yo! I have this chapter up slow but it is at least up! Without further ado chapter 6.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Hunger Games.**

My heart is pumping wildly as I wake up in a hospital room. At first I think that what just happened was a dream and I was hallucinating; then I see Haymitch and Gale sitting off to the side looking grave. I close my eyes and pass into oblivion again. The next time I wake up Haymitch holds me there until I feel faint. He badgers me with questions of what I was doing in there, what I saw, and how I am feeling.

"I feel like crap, thank you very much!" I yell at him.

"Girly girl, what were you thinking of not telling me of this camera! I could've helped more so than Finnick. I have the brains in this facility, and he has the strength. We are outnumbered here in District 13. Now that they know you know of Peeta being locked up in their basement, they're going to kill us all. You should've stayed hushedy hush until I could come up with a proper escape plan," Haymitch hissed at me.

He was right, of course. I hated that because it meant I'll be the reason we're all skinned alive. He left after that. Where did he go? I don't know, but I hope it isn't to find Peeta. I need to find him. Haymitch had brought me a map earlier of District 13's whole out look on the city. It was a huge underground network of tunnels and cavernous rooms. They put up reinforced steel to keep the tons of earth above from crashing in on them. The networks also rooted deep down into the earth, so there were several levels of them. Peeta would probably be in the bottom level in the most disgusting room. It hurt to see him in that cellar, hollowed out like a rotting tree.

Later Haymitch returned with Finnick (who didn't look me in the eye) and a distraught Gale (he obviously thought I was still a complete tart). Thank god they brought food. I was ravenous from not eating a thing from yesterday. They explained that they have been snooping around to find out how to get to Peeta and how to escape. The trio didn't bother in being obscure about their search because the leaders of District 13 already know about everything.

"I demand to be let to go! I'm of use, as I have a hunter's skill: silent footing, great tracking skill, and a keen ear. I can help," that is the gist of what I kept trying to convince them with to let me go.

"No Katniss, you can't go. They'll just trap you and kill you. Then again, this room is just as much as a trap," Haymitch would say. It was a trap, as in we are trapped in a corner; we checked for microphones and cameras earlier.

In the end they decided after much debate that I could go, but tomorrow we'd go not tonight. After they left, I slept actually pretty soundly. I dreamt of sunshine, and my old dilapidated house, and of Prim and my mother, and then nightmares set in of Peeta huddling in grimy corner trying to hold on to the hope that I wasn't hurt. I woke up purposefully after that dream because I couldn't take the emotion that was brought on. I took a shower and got dressed in a black shirt and pants.

I kept coming back to the obvious question in my head while I was waiting: what were the people of District 13 doing? They should've had our heads on a pike by now, but so far it has been too quite. Finally, the boys arrived in their own black attire just as I was starting to become agitated, but they were not alone. They had brought a young man, maybe in his 20's, and he looked skittish. I recognized him as the man that was arguing with Haymitch on the day I woke up from my minor depression. He was medium height, muscular, brunette, and pale.

Haymitch noticed me looking at him and introduced us to each other, "This is Bandy. Bandy this is Katniss, and of course you know her. Bandy is on our side, which seems to have shrunken immensely since we've docked here. Plutarch, as you don't know Katniss, is away on business. He was our key to information around here, and now he's gone. Bandy is our 2nd key, as he lives here. He'll help us find Peeta and escape. The workers that were on the hovercraft we arrived here in have mysteriously disappeared. We only have each other on this mission."

I didn't trust Bandy. I mean, where did he come from? How did he come to be on our side? The way his muscles stood out prominently in his tight, black shirt made me a bit afraid. I put all that aside as we walked out the room and through a series of hallways, tunnels, vents, and secret passageways. I was surprised at the intricacy of this underground city. We finally reached the heart of the city, the middle of everything. There were people in every direction, but they were regular people who didn't know a thing about what might be going on under the surface of their government.

We skirted around the bustling town. Our chins touching our necks and our shoulders hunched was the way we walked by the crowd and into a drainage pipe twice as tall as me. I gaped at the huge dimensions of the sewer pipe. It was on the edge of town, away from eyes and ears, and it was closed off with bars a half a foot apart so animals wouldn't get in there; Bandy knew their was a chink in the bars on the far side we could squeeze through. This pipe led to all levels of the city.

We took what seemed to be hundreds of passageways to get to our veering off point. Bandy found a small vent that would come up in a janitor closet on the 3rd level. Next, once we got to the surface (gratefully I breathed once more in the semi-fresh air), we took more passageways that had no light and many stairs. My legs burned from all the walking. I could here everyone's labored breathing; we hadn't stopped for any sort of break since we started our venture.

Once we got to a door that would lead to a filmed area, Bandy says, "First I will go out to see if anyone is there. Next, I will take out the cameras. Then you all will follow me without questions, we must be silent. Katniss don't look like such a girl."

I realized I was the only one with a face of pure fear. Bandy said it with a smile, and I had to like him if only for his humor. I still didn't know what to think of him betraying his on district, so why wouldn't he betray us? He left and I asked Haymitch.

"He just didn't think it was right what District 13 is doing."

"What is it that they are doing?" I ask my voice coming out shrill with curiosity.

I didn't get an answer because Bandy was back and we were moving. We walked and walked… and walked some more. I was getting irritated that no action was coming to us. I didn't want to fight anyone, no, but I hated this feeling of suspense chasing after our backs. Bandy was in the lead, scouting out to see if anyone would come. I was in the back, forgotten, when someone came up behind me and grabbed my shoulder. I whipped around and punched at the person. They already had their hand out reaching for my neck, and their left hand backwards palm up, sank its nails into my flesh. It stung but I soon forgot that pain as they pushed me down with great strength knocking my temple hard against their knee. They let me go and through a fuzzy haze I saw them rushing at the rest of the group. Bandy quickly steeped forward and stabbed the man clean through his chest with the agility of a trained killer. He threw me over his shoulder, not caring how I landed (my face was in his butt, basically).

Bandy started running down the hall, me bumping along on his back (and butt!), and all the time shouting, "They know we are going for him! Run, they'll be more in a couple of seconds. They think Katniss is the leader here!"

We busted through several sets of doors along our race to Peeta, and my hair almost got caught in every one of them. We went down steps, up steps, through secret passageways, and more hallways. The whole occasion had a steady under beat of probably hundreds of District 13 killers and guards hurrying along behind us. I was, also, on Bandy's back the whole time, holding on for dear life! Then we burst through one last pair of doors. Everyone was out of breath. Bandy threw me onto Finnick, who thankfully caught me upright in his arms, and then Bandy locked the doors closed with a special code he tapped in to the plate next to the doors.

Inexhaustible Bandy marched forward saying, "This is the security unit, the last level of the city. Peeta should be in one of the cells on this next left. If he isn't, we'll have to go to the level below the last level."

Bandy looked at us to make sure none of us were totally out of it. We all needed to be on guard. We came into a room with white walls, white floor, and a white desk. A young woman was at the desk. She stood up pressing on what must be the security guards and was jabbering about how we shouldn't be down here. Bandy walked towards her and in a low voice that must charm all the ladies, he said something I couldn't here. A second later accompanied by a girlish giggle, we were buzzed into the cell area. Stepping into the room took my breath away. It wasn't the smell of waste and decay that I had expected; the smell was an overwhelming bleach stench. Everything was as sterile as a hospital. No one was in there.

Bandy hissed in frustration, "He has to be in the under-level, that's what us higher powers in intelligence call it. Fortunately, I know how to get there."

At the last cell of the hundreds of them, we entered it and Bandy immediately went to the back and pressed a few of the bricks and there reveals a door. We went through it and I gagged straight away. This is what I braced myself from before. It was the stench of rotting flesh and human waste and dead rodents and… I just couldn't take my eyes off anything. All the cells were more like cages, with bars all round the sides and only a slit at the bottom of a couple of bars where I suppose food slips under. Above, the cells were walled in, had no soul in them, and were sterile; here nearly every cage was filled, some with two people, and they were soiled. Hanging high over our heads was chained men and woman, by the neck, and they were obviously dead as a doornail.

My skin was crawling all over. The people, most likely traitors of District 13, started to awake. They crawled to the back corner of their cages and wailed in sorrow and in fear. Of course they didn't know who we were, since they looked as if they'd been here for months without a bath or food. I was also searching for Peeta. We all took a row, and I was given a knife to protect myself, though it wouldn't be much protection against a gun. Each man or woman I looked a, their face got more and more etched into my head. I past many blondes, and each one I looked at so carefully I though my eyes would bust with such concentration.

One blonde I almost thought to be Peeta, and that's when I started to cry. I was sobbing by the end of the row. I hadn't found him so I started the next row over, nothing. Every once in awhile, one of the guys would call out "nothing" when they didn't find anything. I didn't say one word because I was howling sobs. I started in on the next row, whispering Peeta to each cage. What if they died is hair so if I found this place I wouldn't find him? I held on to that hope even though it was a highly doubtful suggestion. My whispering got so ragged that the sleeping people didn't even crack in eye to see what was disturbing them. My voice was soon lost and I was just breathing air out with my lips moving. Someone lifted their head when I came near their cage. I gasped in revelation as I knew with all my heart that this was what I've been looking for since I pulled the string on my bow and let the explosion blow up the 75th Hunger Games. Peeta, my darling, I've found you.

He was more haggard than what that camera let me see. He had a white gown gone brown from dirt and waste on his wraith-like body. His hair was filthy and sticking to his face from sweat. The sweat came from his apparent sickness. He was staring up at me with an expression of confusion. I guess he must think I'm an illusion.

"Katniss? You suppo' to be dea'," he mumbled. "You're supposed to be dead" is what he was saying.

I cried out to him, grabbing the bars, "I'm here, Peeta. I'm here! I'm here to save you, take you away to some place these people will never hurt you."

I stood up and screamed Haymitch's name until they were all running from either end of the row. Gale was the first one there; his face had no trace of jealousy, just determination to get Peeta out of the cage. He glanced at me once as all the men took a swing at getting the lock open, and he looked at me like he was giving me pity. I would give me pity too. I was a blubbering mess sitting down next to the gang. Finally, Bandy stepped forth with a crowbar taken from the front of this horrid place. They pried the door open and I hastily crawled over to him, cradling his head in my lap. I cried as he passed out in my lap. Peeta was so undernourished that Finnick could easily carry him like a mother would carry a small child or baby.

Bandy led the way. I had to put my faith in him to lead us out of here. I hoisted my makeshift run away bag on my back and started off behind the men. I took one glance around and let the nightmarish scene have time to sink into my brain. This is the image I will bring up in my mind when I fight against District 13 and the Capitol. I can't and won't give up on Peeta now. I have to make sure he gets out of this war alive.

**Wow! What will happen next? Review and I will get the next chapter up speedy quick. Tell me what you think!!!!**

**Yours truly,**

**Peeta's Lover**


	7. Falling Fast

**Aloha! Hola! Bonjour! Buonjiorno! **مرحبا**! **שלום**! Dobrý den! Hej!**สวัสดี**! ****Hello! And so on! 'Ere es 'apter 'even! (French accent for Here is chapter 7!) I know it has been FOREVER! Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, tons of trips, tests galore, and projects always around the corner is what it has been like for the past couple of months. I've finally got time to just sit and type away without serious distractions.**

Well, things couldn't get much worse than what our little spy group has just gotten into. As we left the cell room, we came back into the white room with the pretty, young lady. _Just_ as we came through the door, so did the miniature army of District 13 through the opposite door. We hid behind the doors leading into the cell area. We listened in to the conversation.

A man, probably the commander, yelled over the army, "Hear me! We need to find them before they find him! They may have already gotten him and are on their merry way out of here, but we are going to stop that. President Snow will have our heads hanging on his mantle if we don't capture them."

Haymitch cursed behind me because this confirmed that District 13 wasn't on our side. We clambered back through the door. We passed rows upon rows of what were our fellow freedom fighters. Then I saw the two people that had once gotten aid from me. Twill and Bonnie were huddled into the side of the cage, raggedy like a stuffed animal being held too many times at night. They didn't look up, and I almost didn't catch that it was them. I had no time to stop; we had to get out of here! And soon, because I could here heavy footfalls from the soldiers' boots making their way nearer.

Then someone called out, "There they are!" I sprinted like my life depended on it, and it did funnily enough. I was right behind Bandy, who was like a machine running so fast and without a drop of sweat. He had short hair, so it didn't whip in his face like mine was. We burst through the doors of the back of this hell, and I nearly moaned at the breath of fresh air I was given.

Something caught my legs and I tripped forward, landing in Bandy's arms. His muscles flexed impressively, and no girl could help but woe at his obvious good looks. I gapped for about a second before he hoisted me onto my feet and we were running again. The others were ahead, and as Bandy and I tried to catch up, something else snagged onto my foot. It was a dead, decaying hand of one of the captives that had fallen out of the cage. That wasn't what made me sputter in fright, though. One particularly gigantic soldier had found us and was only ten feet away from my sprawled body.

The man lunged forward and slapped me clear across the face in an effort to daze me, like I wasn't already in shock of being _that_ close to death every day. Bandy kicked him away with a steel-toed boot, and as the man stumbled back, Bandy pulled out a hand gun from a holster attached to his side. One quickly triggered bullet later, and the man's blood spurted onto my body, thankfully not extending to my face. As bandy helped me up, I noticed how non-stunned he was. Killing must be his thing if he could do it so easily without distraction. My attraction grew as I noticed this new courage about him.

You may think that someone would be repulsed at his being able to kill with grace, but I saw it as him risking his life to save hundreds of people un-wanting of the Capitol's harsh treatment. I looked back as we reached our exiting point; Haymitch and Finnick with Peeta were already off. Gale was just hurtling out when Bandy and I reached the edge of our descent. I saw hundreds of human beings wiggling in their own filth, hundreds of soldiers ready to fire at my heart, and hundreds of hopes being dashed away as the door slid shut behind us.

With one parachute left, Bandy tugged it on, and I would be attached to the holster on the front. I like the way his strong arms wrapped around me; it reminded me of Peeta before he became sickly in the Games. It reminded me of the boy with the bread. I stared up at Bandy one last moment before he jumped out the door. He gave a cocky grin as he readied his stance to jump and free fall, and said, "I told you I would keep you alive." I smiled back, though he said no such thing.

"Thanks, Bandy," I whispered and kissed him hard on the mouth. His lips twitched into a half smile, but it was confused and so were his eyes. I didn't react to my own actions. Bandy lost the kiss from his mind as we tumbled out the hover craft. It felt good to fall... and maybe just this once… I won't have to get back up again.

**Wow. Didn't see that one coming when I started writing this. Don't kill me please! Remember this is a PeetaxKatniss fanfic. **

**I think I'm just strangely attracted to Bandy, and all his rippling muscles and charming good looks and mysteriousness and bravery. Aw, Brandy, Brandy, you got me in a love vice, baby! Hehe.**

**Anyways, I added the fact that Katniss was **_**reminded**_** of Peeta, which means she is **_**just lusting**_** after Bandy, not actually trying to ravage him or have a relationship with him. Sometimes when people are in shock, they are emotionally overwhelmed, and want some quality loving from an actual other person. **_**So there! Suck on that!**_

**Sorry it was short, but I felt that it was a good place to stop. My next chapter will be up in a week or less, so hold on little cowgirls/boys! PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! Or I won't write anymore. Even if its flame, I can take it, I'm a big girl.**

**Yours truly,**

**Peeta's Lover**


	8. Three Boys, One Girl

**I'm surprised no one has tried to kill me yet over the whole issue with Katniss kissing Bandy. Yes, KATNISS kissed BANDY. He is not some playa' trying to go for Katniss's affections. **

**Speaking of which… Crap. Crap to the extreme. I didn't plan on that happening at all. I'm sure you all know this chapter is going to be awkward just because of that. CRAP. I don't have a freakin' clue what to do with Bandy. **

**PLEASE READ THIS!!!!!!!!!! : In the review I **_**WILL**_** receive from you, please suggest what I should do with Bandy. I need more than a couple of responses because I've hit a wall with him. I've got this chapter planned, but what about the several after this one!**

**Pita-BreaD-RoCkS and StarsLeanDownToKissYou please help me out ladies!!! I'm struggling!**

**Bandy will leave a special message with me that I will pass on to you depending on what you say. You all know you want a **_**special one of a kind**_** Bandy message!!!!**

**On with the story…**

Bandy had saved my life from that wild brute, and I kissed him in thanks. Of course, I _had_ to enjoy that kiss because of the man's beautiful physique and other charming qualities about him. It is nearly impossible for a woman to resist a gorgeous butt-kicking man, one that_ saved _her _life_. Or that is at least what I will tell anybody if they find out about it.

I can't stand this internal nagging my brain gets a kick out of. It insists on making my emotions turn sour making me believe that the kiss was just because I was a tramp. And because I just didn't love Peeta nor Gale anymore. This made my grouchy and guilty and I snapped at everyone who so much as bumped into me on accident. I was going to kill soon if Peeta didn't hurry up and rehabilitate. I needed to prove to myself (and a certain rugged good-looking man by the name of Bandy) that I loved Peeta and no one else.

In truth, I haven't seen much of Bandy at all. I only saw him when we all sat to eat together; then we usually all kept quiet, gobbled our foods down, and went back to our work and research. Oh and where are we exactly? Why don't you just ask Haymitch, the secretive _sonofabi_-

"Hey, Katniss!" Bandy called out to me from down the hallway.

It wasn't actually a hallway, but just an area outside closed off by plastic walls. I could feel the middle of summer sizzle through the air, scorching everything. When Bandy spoke, I almost didn't catch it, and realized too late that looking up while walking would've been a good idea. I ran straight into him, my face already burning from the remembrance of our kiss. The research I had been so in to was suddenly scattered on the ground.

We both bent down to clean it up before Haymitch caught the mess and made us have house cleaning duties. He was becoming a real _mom_, because whenever one thing was out of line or one person wasn't doing something, he made them do chores. Bandy grabbed most of the files with my slow thinking process.

"Here you go. Next time watch where you're going, it might save your life… sugar," Bandy whispered that last part close to my ear, so the air curled into my ear cavity making me shiver.

He tilted my head just enough so my cheek pressed against his, and he kissed it lightly. He was there one second making me hormonally crazy, and the next he was out of sight. My papers were in a neat pile in front of me. I picked them up and left for my room.

**

Peeta has not responded to anything. The medical supply isn't meager, but not as fulfilling as it was back on District 13. I've been watching Peeta for one straight hour. I don't even think I blinked. He hasn't stirred and I haven't. I absolutely won't budge my thoughts from him. I refuse to think about Bandy or Gale or saving humanity. I _will_ concentrate on this alone.

My stomach growled. Well, I am going to go eat. While I was grabbing my soup from the serving lady, I noticed something peculiar. Haymitch and Finnick were at one table on the far left side of the room, and Bandy and Gale were on the far right.

Both parties looked extremely mad. Their faces were contorted into scowls and teeth baring grimaces. I could see them whispering to one another. I didn't know who to sit with. I cuss under my breath. I sit by myself, not favoring either side in distance. I'm almost finished eating when I hear a clatter of a tray next to me. I look up and see Gale. Bandy is nowhere, and Haymitch is busy discussing with Finnick.

I choke on the soup. Gale pats my back gently, and snickers.

"Shut… up… Stop… laughing… now," I say between coughs.

"Alright I'll stop, Katniss," Gale whispers suddenly changing his emotions to lustful looks at me. No, _why_ now. Why was he looking at me that way?! "I know Katniss."

What does he know now? "What do you know?" I play innocent.

"I know the baby is a fake. I don't know if I ever thought it was real. You were never getting any bigger, and I just wouldn't have taken you for that type of girl."

I guess I thought he was going to say something about Bandy. About the kiss I forced him in to. I swallowed nervously. I didn't know how to react, so I asked the simple question, "Who told you about this?"

"Bandy told me. Haymitch told him to tell me. Oh, by the way," Gale said getting up and throwing his tray away, "Peeta woke up."

**

I dashed to the infirmary. I wasn't breathing. I couldn't have with my tear swollen throat anyways. I burst through that door and practically flew to Peeta's bed side. He was awake, and gorgeous. His soft, blue eyes stared at me with love. His once pale skin had regained some color with the medication, and I could see his spirit being mended. He reached for me. I was still standing a foot away.

I sat down on the bed. He took my hand in his and kissed it. I closed my eyes with a soft gasp. I leaned forward and cuddled my head underneath his chin. He embraced me with warmth that I hadn't felt from Bandy or Gale. I flung my boots off and shrugged under the covers with him. He was crying into my hair and I was crying onto his chest as he wrapped me tighter into him.

"Katniss, oh, Katniss," he whisper-cried into my ear as he kissed all over my face.

"Peeta, I'm here and I won't leave you," I wailed into his chest.

He held me fiercer with each passing second as I sobbed louder. He repeated over and over how much he loved me and that everything would be okay. I was_ supposed_ to be comforting him! Yet, here Peeta was cooing to me like I was a baby. I adored this feeling of safe home keeping that Peeta brought me.

I fell asleep, and so did the man that had held me up throughout these past two years. I couldn't cry anymore when I woke up. I was too happy anyways to cry. Peeta was alive, weak but alive, and safe in my custody. I would be his savior this time. For the next two weeks I helped him along, getting between buildings and eating and well, everything. He was so weak in the beginning I had to practically carry him; surprisingly it was easy to haul him onto my back. He was so thin and frail from starvation, and I was strong and healthy from exercising, that he was like a pillow slung over my shoulder.

That fact scared me to death. Peeta was supposed to be muscular and warm, filled with bread and love. He still loved, but I could see the hardness that everyone bore now from the weight of our journey. Peeta was supposed to be the one who didn't change into the indifferent, mope-along person. He was _supposed_ to be the one to keep us all sane with earthly talk, like _how's the weather working for ya'? What are we having for lunch, because if it soup I'll cry? _Those sorts of questions kept our minds focused on things other than killing and rescuing people.

Today Peeta has gained back 30 pounds he had lost in hell. I was proud this heavy calorie diet was working. I started him on some weights to get some muscle strength back. It went well and I rewarded him with a kiss. He tried to pull me into it more, but I struggled out of his already regained power.

Then I saw Bandy. He was up on the balcony overlooking the medium-sized gym. He stared straight into my eyes and saw my soul, how raw and unkempt it was. He saw my soul and didn't like it because he stalked away with his shoulders hunched forward. I felt a blush work into my cheeks. Bandy, the one who I kissed and liked it, was walking away in pain. I felt so guilty now that I pushed Peeta away with a hard shove.

"What's the matter?" he yelled as I ran for Bandy.

I didn't answer. Peeta knew the way back to his room, I told myself. I still worried about his health, but only in the long run. Bandy was the here and now, and so was Gale. I saw Bandy dash behind the plastic walls into the forest behind it. Being the middle of the day and all, it was blazing outside. I soon as my feet touched the dewy grass I choked on the humidity. Bandy was already about a 100 yards ahead of me, swerving through trees and broken branches. I clambered after him, my hunter's stealth kicking in. He was faster, though. I breathed deeply after stopping next to a pond. No, no, no!

Bandy was out of sight and I was also out of sight… from the building… where everyone and everything that can help me is. I was so screwed when I hear footsteps coming after me. I look behind me and see Gale emerging from a patch of bushes.

As he caught his breath he gasped out, "I haven't seen you run like that since we were almost caught by those couple of peacekeepers back at the hob. What are you doing? You left Peeta all alone in his unstable condition."

"I was chasing after Bandy. He-he was- I just needed to know where he was going," I stuttered that last part because I wasn't about to hurt Gale like I had Bandy.

"Well, let's go look for him. There are eyes in these woods looking for trouble."

So that is what we did. We walked around and I couldn't help but glare at every mocking jay I saw. It was an awkward silence in everything we tried to talk about. We couldn't go back to being friends. We would never talk like we had on our rock eating Prim's goat's cheese and berries.

I twig snapped to our left and Gale drew out a dagger the size of my forearm. I was shocked he was carrying such a weapon. I didn't think that long as a haggard Bandy stepped into view. Gale didn't replace his dagger. Bandy had out a gun and he cocked it up to us. I swallowed hard and started to speak when Bandy just shushed me and fired. I waited for the bullet to pierce me or to hear a yell from Gale being hit, but no such thing happened.

A large thud came from behind us. A young bucks head lolled to one side near my boot. I made a surprised squeak. Good, Bandy wasn't insane. Gale may be though, or becoming so, as he threw the dagger into the ground and continued on to yells at Bandy.

"Man, what were you thinking popping out of nowhere and shooting at us? What the hell was going through that thick, over-sized piece of muscle?" Gale screamed a few other choice words at Gale, but I rather not repeat them.

"Look, pal, whatever beef you have with me, tell me. I don't see how this will solve anything with you screaming right into my ear!" Bandy yelled right on back.

I could see their hate for the other seep out their words. They were just at the table talking to each other this morning, so that meant whatever went down between the two was there. I didn't want to intervene; it appeared to be the most dangerous situation I have ever handled. I stepped between the two, and as I did Gale lashed out at Bandy who had called him, well, something that rhymed with "Rick". I caught the blow to the right side of my cheek, and it jolted my body back right into Bandy's open arms.

"Katniss! Oh my god, I didn't mean to hit you, I was trying to hit Bandy! Please forgive me," Gale wasn't screaming at Bandy anymore, he was screaming at my bleeding nose.

"It is okay. Just stop fighting. And here's payback," I hissed through a couple of tears as I gave a swift kick to Gale's abdomen. It wasn't that powerful with the stars I was seeing.

Bandy started cussing out Gale his arm wrapped around my shoulder keeping me standing. Then the conversation took a nasty turn, and I knew why they were mad.

Bandy got nose to nose with the equally terrifying stature of Gale, "You never really loved her. You suddenly are interested in her after she proved her worth in the Games and suddenly she is your soul mate! Huh! Is that how it is?"

"What?! I knew her before you ever heard anyone say District 12. You just met her not but a half a week ago and you have the nerve to call her _your _soul mate!" Gale pushed Bandy away.

Bandy is tall and can lift three of me. He has stamina and knows how to kill a human without guilt. Gale is lean and has taken down the roughest of them at school. He has been trained as a hunter and can kill an animal, which is what a human is. Watching them fight one another would be interesting but I've had enough violence. While they were busy forgetting my nose, I started walking toward this stream that was bubbling along a few feet behind us.

I washed the blood of after it stopped, and then turned in time to see Bandy point his gun right into Gale's face. Gale swiftly came over his shock and poked the tip of his blade into Bandy's chest. Neither of them looked down at the blade, but Bandy seemed to digest it with great patience. We all stood stock still until Bandy smoothly said, "We don't have time for this. I have to get back to work and you need to stop punching poor girls in the face."

Gael scoffed at that last part, but I saw his guilt when he glanced my way. I stuck my tongue out at him to show the old me wasn't completely gone and that I forgave him. Bandy was out of sight. Gale came closer and I flinched with his bear hug. He tensed at my reaction but didn't let go.

"Katniss, I'm sorry about your nose. I didn't mean to hit you. I was aiming for that low life," Gale hissed. He backed off suddenly angry.

"Gale, you know I haven't decided what I need and what I want."

He knew this meant I didn't know _who_ I wanted or needed. I felt awful about what I would eventually have to decide. Gale knew I was desperately searching for a better way to end this conversation besides this. He was disappointed when I didn't.

"Take your time. I'll just wait forever until you choose. Oh, and you got a new candidate: Bandy," Gale said to me. He was being rude about it, which meant I was going to have to try and make him like me again so there wouldn't be too much awkwardness.

I thought a moment as he turned to walk back to headquarters. Maybe, just maybe, I could fix this temporarily. I rush up behind him and grab his shoulder, spinning him to face me. I smashed my lips to his and put some love in to it, if you know what I mean. In the end, my hair was tousled, his was sticking out like a mad scientist's, are faces were slimy with saliva, but Gale was happy… for the time being, anyways. I know it is bad to use my sex appeal on a boy that happens to like me to like me more so I don't have to deal with his hate and my guilt. Oh well, I muttered as we walked back hand in hand.

As we walked through the door, Gale gave me one last peck that I happily accepted. What makes him happy makes me happy. Gale turned the corner to go do whatever, while I strayed back to the gym. Just as I turned to merrily help Peeta, so I wouldn't have to deal with his mood, I bumped into of _all the people,_ Peeta. I looked up at his face, not as shallow as it had been a couple of weeks ago, and saw something I hadn't seen from him in awhile… hate.

**READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE TOP OF THIS CHAPTER!!!**

**I promised a special message from Bandy for those who reviewed.**

**Georgia: Me- Yeah! I actually plan on being a writer when I grow up, so coincidence or what?! Friend of Holly's, eh? **

** Bandy- Katniss got nothin' on you babe.**

**StarsLeanDownToKissYou: Me- Too bad, you already got a message from Bandy.**

**Pita-BreaD-RoCkS: WHERE ARE YOU GIRL!**

**And that is all. Mom, if you are reading this… hi. Next chapter will be up as soon as possible. (Which means it gets here when it gets here!) READ AND REVIEW FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Yours truly,**

**Peeta's Lover**


	9. Powerful Words

_**PLEASE READ!!!!!!!**_** All of it!!!!!!!**

**Well… what to say. I'm like hyperventilating over this chapter. It has taken me much time to come up with this chapter of awesomeness (which is a word!). I am seriously going to be taken to the hospital for the stress levels that I am emitting for writing this chapter. God… just breathe deeply, breathe!**

**Um… people have actually take kindly to my last chappy. I would've thought you guys wouldn't have liked it because Bandy is being taken into interest by Katniss, and Gale is suddenly a total and complete-**_**insert bad word**_**-! **

**I hope this came out good. More cuddly magic with Bandy and Peeta. Gale is still a-**_**insert equally horrible bad word**_**-. And that is the entire summary I will give. And if you actually read to this point you will put a 3 at the beginning of your review.**

_**Pita**_** (Pita-BreaD-RoCkS) you really do rock, girl. Thanks a million for your helpful support and ideas.**

_**Stars**_** (StarsLeanDownToKissYou) thank you as well. You have left me with much joy from our stimulating conversations. Bandy is awesome, no matter what you think, though.**

_**Maree**_** you are right, Katniss is a bit of a skank with all her multiple relationships. But isn't that why we love her? Because she is human? **

_**Ginny**_**, if you read this far into the story, I know I change from past to present tense, it is a fault in my writing. I am not Katniss, if you haven't noticed, so I won't talk exactly like her. The second chappy was based on trust cuz I was still debating on if would go on with the story, and just needed to quench the reviewers thirst for awhile, while I decided. It was a bit repetitive, but Katniss was all depressed, so of course she's going to think trust is crap! No action cuz like I said I was still deciding… but check it out, there is some action now, girly!**

_**Lily**_** thanks for the reviews. Katniss is a serial kisser, yes.**

**I am stalling by writing more than I need so you will read this, and I actually do want you to, it is not **_**all**_** jibber jabber. And if you read to here, put another symbol like the first one at the end of your review; I need at least three hearts till I go on with the next chapter. Well… here it goes. Jesus.**

Peeta stepped around me with his slow amble. He paused behind me and I felt his heated breath on my neck. He said something that made me very aware, "Am I not good enough?"

I stopped breathing as he kissed the back of my neck lightly. He enveloped my thin shoulders with warm hands, and I became _very _alert. He kissed my neck longer, only his soft lips. Peeta's blonde bangs tickled against my neck making my muscles twitch in irritation. He smoothed his hands over my shoulders and ran them down over my arms and landed on my hips. I froze, and he noticed it, but didn't seem to make a move away from me. I sucked in a breath as clammy sweat leaked through my pores. He kissed the side of my neck this time right over the jugular vein, a sensitive area.

"Am I not good enough for you, Katniss?" Peeta whispered into my ear, hot breath furling into it. I shivered with a shaky breath, and I turned my head just enough to see his reflection in the metal columns holding up the plastic hall. His front was centimeters from pressing against my back, and I abruptly felt something stir in me. This was puberty making a last bout through my system, and it felt invigorating… but I still didn't want this. I wanted Peeta not to use his charm and my hormones against me while he was probably seething inside.

I pushed away from him without actually touching him, and his hands strayed to the metal beam. He supported himself with it. He straightened up, looked into my eyes with those baby blues, and I felt the same surge. He was beautiful, but angry. His eyes said more than want; they said _I hate you Katniss for hurting me. _It pained my deeply to see that hate so prominent in him. I said nothing but he did by asking the same question over and over again.

"Am I not good enough Katniss? Am I really that worthless to you? What do you have to say for yourself? I'll say it for you, because I think I've got you dead on_: I'm so sorry Peeta! I'm so sorry I ripped your heart out and can't say anything about it! I'm sorry you love me, but I don't feel the same way_," Peeta mocked a girlish voice imitating me.

I felt lower than the floor and he was rubbing the cut with lemon juice. I wanted to fight back, but Peeta was strong. Peeta wasn't strong physically, but with his words. He can make people feel loved or hated in one single question. I got the sour end of the deal, and I deserved it. He yelled the same things repeatedly until he was out of breath and out of hate.

"Peeta," I said shakily, "I am sorry, no matter how much you don't think so. I don't love you, not now with the world falling through my fingers and you just making it worse. But I want to love you; I just can't with all this going on."

His anger/hate gone and love/hurt back he says, "We'll just have to end what's going on then, if you want to love me. Katniss, I love you so much."

Peeta was in no shape to be exerting his self this much. For the past couple of weeks, he has been steadily improving, and there was no kissing or love or hate in those weeks. It was simply Peeta and me working his beaten body to health. I walked with him to his room and I entered, as well. I had only planned on leaving him to rest. I saw that bed, so inviting in all its fluffiness, and I plopped right on to it, exhausted.

Peeta laughed, more hollow than usual, but still something that made me smile. Peeta always could make me smile, and was good at keeping away the nightmares, which have daunted me for the last month. I cuddled under the blankets and Peeta pulled off his shirt to reveal growing muscles. He was unperturbed by his risky action, but I had a heart beating fast enough to power several homes. He got under the covers with me and sighed tiredly. Of course, he wasn't going to pull anything, Katniss! He was only getting comfortable, of course.

I snuggled down and Peeta turned onto his stomach wrapping an arm round my torso. I fell asleep feeling as if I was at the Capitol, days before I would head off to the Games, and Peeta was there to help me rest peacefully. It felt nice knowing someone still cared about my well-being no matter what. I woke up at midnight with a cry of pain.

Something had shifted onto my legs that dug in hard. Peeta was fast asleep, and I didn't want to wake him up from peace. His metallic leg was lying cross my fleshy ones and it was causing agony. I bit my lip as I slipped them out from under that faux limb. I was overcome with grief as I was reminded of his artificial leg, and how it might be partially my fault. I stared at his back in the moonlight, only shifting with his breathing. I sighed in admiration of this boy who had given me so much without asking for anything in return. I felt his question burn in my mind, _Am I not good enough?_

Peeta twitched with a sigh that formed into my name. He smiled that heartbreaking smile he has. I rolled out of the bed silently and covered my mouth as I cried. He didn't wake as I opened and closed the door to his room. I headed down the hallway not planning on heading to my room, but not wanting to go anywhere else. I headed for the bathroom just a floor up.

I stepped onto the cool linoleum with bare feet as the warm showers ran over my strained muscles. I relaxed as my tears were washed away and my stress dulled with each pulse of my heart. As I stepped out of the curtained off area, I felt as free as anyone could in my situation. I put on some sweatpants and a baggy shirt.

My bare feet slapped with each step I took to my room and then sleep. I was dozy as I walked and therefore didn't notice Bandy trailing behind me until I reached my room. He slipped his arm around my waist catching me off guard as I unlocked the door. I tensed and twirled around to karate chop anyone who stood there. Bandy laughed quietly at my surprise, stopped suddenly, and swooped down and kissed me so hard that my back banged the door open.

I cursed myself, while desperately trying to put Bandy in his place gently… or not gently depending on how he was going to act. He took the door opening as me being eager for this passionate kissing. I could've laughed if I wasn't so caught up in my lust for this handsome fighter. He pushed me along into the room, all the while kissing me and running his hands all over. His palms found their way _nearly_ to my chest before I punched him right in the nose.

Bandy staggered backwards and tumbled onto the bed with a pained groan. How dare he try to ravish me?! Was that all he was looking for? I was feeling my old Katniss rage build up in my stomach instead of lust. I grabbed him by his shirt collar and hauled him up, but only for me to slap him again.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I screamed at him.

He hushed me as he cupped his aching nose and whispered, "I thought that is what you wanted Katniss. Apparently, I was wrong and I'm sorry. You don't give yourself enough credit for you attractive looks. Anyways, I was only getting in on the action that everyone else seems to be getting."

I stuttered with purple-faced fury, "Get-on, get on- w-what!"

"First, you kiss Finnick, and only god knows what was going on there! Well, you kiss your poor Peeta boy out of pity, next. Then you go off to kiss Gale so he'll shut up. You are selfish if you think everyone is fine with this sort of treatment."

"So everyone is all the boys I suppose," I hiss still to pen up with anger to say anything more.

"Well, yeah, you little minx! You are running around acting like a little strumpet and don't expect anyone to notice!" Bandy whisper-yells.

"First off, kissing Finnick was an accident; I ran into him and our lips met…" Bandy was rolling his eyes as I trailed off trying to make it sound true, "Gale is, was, well he is… I don't know about him! Maybe if he stops acting like a jerk, then I'll decide on him! Peeta is in love with me, and I am not someone that can easily love, so he is waiting for me. Peeta is undecided on my list."

Bandy leaned forward with an angry sneer, "What about me Katniss? Am I undecided?"

"Bandy, I am under a lot of stress. Why can't you just deal with it, or get out?" I waited for him to answer.

I felt more horrible with each passing second. I didn't want Bandy to leave, is what I decided. I didn't know what this connection was between us, but I trusted him. As he contemplated what I had suggested, I wanted to take it all back.

"Katniss, how about we ju-," I cut him off with a different proposition.

"How about we just start fresh? I'm Katniss… and you are…?" I stated boldly.

"I'm Bandy. Katniss, you are one spontaneous, crazy girl. I like spontaneous," Bandy leaned forward while whispering that.

I felt lightheaded and giddy with this intrusion of space. It felt invigorating to be so wanted and yet, I didn't care. Of course, Bandy turned all gentlemanly on me and kissed my hand like a lord to a lady. I grinned, without blushing or giggling because I had more dignity than that. He left me with a silent promise of a good tomorrow. I slept well.

The next morning was bright and sweltering. Peeta awoke without me next to him, and was pounding on my door like a faithful dog. I let him in, while I was still rumpled with sleep. I check the clock to find it to be seven. I groaned at how little sleep I had gotten, but was determined to help Peeta rejuvenate his strength. We walked into the cafeteria hand in hand, much to my protest, but Peeta was very manipulative. He had said that if I didn't he wouldn't forgive me for kissing Gale and he wouldn't eat. I pouted but he just mumbled away about how stubborn I was.

I saw Gale first, chatting with Haymitch. Gale glanced up and saw me holding hands with Peeta, but didn't give a second thought about it as he stared into my eyes as I grabbed blindly for toast. He smiled at me and my heart melted slightly. I looked away trying to make him think this relationship should not be public yet. In truth, I didn't know what was going on between him and me. My heart completely thawed out when I saw Bandy staring me down. When he caught my eye, he winked with an endearing smile that caused my knees to wobble.

Both of the boys shots through my hearts didn't pierce one thing though; I peek at Peeta and feel my heart reforming itself only to melt beck down again as he stared back with those ocean colored orbs. I perused the rest of the cafeteria with a wary eye, when I saw someone entering through the double doors. Gale leapt up, Haymitch gave a small grunt of acknowledgement, Peeta smiled, and everyone else seemed to be confused with this persons being here.

I was gasping for breath. This was a little bit of home that brought me back to earth. Madge and Prim immediately whipped towards me with screeches of glee. I gave a shout and sprinted over to them. Madge managed to squeeze a hug in before I caught Prim tightly in my arms. I swung her around and she held even more tightly to me as she whispered how much she missed and loved me.

I looked up only to see the people's expressions as they were explained to of who these people were. They all appeared mesmerized by my sudden change of my character, dour to giggly girl. Prim immediately went into explaining how mother was safe with Gale's family in the woods. The Capitol have steered clear of any area outside District 1 thru 4. They are building up a-yadda yadda blah blah!

Prim was here!!! And I couldn't give a damn about whether the Capitol would kill us tomorrow. I finally was sure she was safe and in my arms. Quite literally, she was in my arms and we are sitting in my room, and I have been braiding her hair for the past half hour of her ceaseless talking.

That is what I love about Prim: she can talk endlessly about things that are totally unrelated to current events. When my father died, she kept me going with her constant chatter of school and her daily life. Prim was the unsung hero when it came to keeping our family afloat when my mother went downhill. My mother, I avoided talking about with Prim, but now I wanted to know how they escaped. Prim told me she didn't really quite know because it was all an obscuration with the bombs going off everywhere. She said I should go to Gale to ask him, since he helped them.

Of course Prim had to give me the one person's name that I refused to talk to, but now he had valuable information to me. I sighed and Prim caught on to my heavy heart.

"Katniss, ever since I've arrived you've been smiling to my face, but pouting behind my back. Did you not want me to come?" Prim said to me getting off my lap and sitting on the bed across from my chair.

I scoffed, "Oh please, Prim! I love that you've come. There have just been distractions for me lately that is all."

Prim poked my stomach making me giggle before asking, "What type of distractions?"

"Prim, you aren't old enough to quite understand. I'll say that it's complicated."

"It's boy trouble than, isn't it?" She asked so innocently.

"Prim! How would you know of it?" I screamed incredulous.

"Oh come of it, Katniss! I know about guys. I'm your little sister, but not _that_ little now."

I looked at her and saw how her hair has grown to her mid-back, blonde and wispy. Her face was a little less round and more angular. Her eyes were still big and blue. Earlier, when I was swinging her around, she was at least fifty pounds heavier than I remembered. I hoped it was because she was eating well, but it was also because how she was gaining on my own 5'7" frame. She wasn't tiny anymore.

I blurted out the whole story since Bandy had joined the gang back in District 13. Prim listened silently, and interrupted little to only clarify. I liked telling her, having someone to unload this unnecessary burden on to. I stared into her blue eyes the whole time. Blue eyes. Blue. Blue. Blue eyes! Peeta! I had forgotten that I had to help him exercise this afternoon!

"Oh no, Prim! I have to go help Peeta, but I'll see you later." I yell already half way out the door.

She drags me back in with surprising strength, "Wait. I have an idea. We need to fix your guy problem. It is interfering with your other crucial activities. How about we narrow down the competition? I can tell that you aren't ready to give Peeta up, so we'll save him for last. I'll go and interrogate Bandy, while you interrogate Gale! Perfect!"

I was stunned for words, "NO! No, no, no! I can't talk to Gale, and Bandy is a little harder to handle, Prim. I can't talk to Gale! I will just make a fool of myself, or argue with him, or kiss him again! I don't need any of that right now, and I really don't want to lose him."

Prim considers this, "Well, since this is your problem I guess you'll have to fix it all on your own, but that isn't going to stop me from talking to your mysterious Bandy."

I blanch and laugh, "HA! Bandy isn't a mystery! He tells you everything straight and honest."

"Yes, perhaps, but he hasn't told you anything straight about _himself_. Think about it, Katniss. He tells you things about yourself, but not about his past, or why he's doing all this. I'm going to figure him out. Don't worry so much, it's not like he'll bite my head off."

I am listening but also thinking. Prim is right, I really don't know Bandy. "Alright, Prim, you can talk to him, but don't mention me or any of what we just discussed, okay?"

"Don't get your panties in a bunch. Anyways, aren't you supposed to be helping a certain dashing cripple?" Prim mutters with a slight smile.

"Yeah, I guess I have to go," I mumble and hug her close; "I have missed you, and remember that I love you."

"I love you, too. Now go and win yourself a man!"

-0-

I was seriously overestimating Peeta's skills. He could hardly lift a 10 pound weight. I sigh loudly showing my exasperation.

"Katniss don't give me that crabby attitude. I do _not _need it!" Peeta huffed.

I was a little taken aback by his different personality but recovered quickly with my own quip, "Yes, Peeta, you do not need to be able to defend yourself in the war against billions of weapons and soldiers."

He didn't seem to catch on to the sarcasm and bit out coldly, "That isn't what I meant Katniss."

I was still disconcerted with his cold attitude and retorted, "Hey listen to me! I am not liking your-."

I was cut of abruptly by his screaming, "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP KATNISS!"

I felt my blood run cold as I stared wide-eyed at his red face. With this sudden adrenaline rush, as it seemed, his muscles bulged with his anger. There were at least five other people in the room, but they didn't make me feel any better or safer from the glare I was receiving from Peeta. I backed away without a word, and rotated towards the door. My last glance at Peeta was he was still fuming, so I didn't bother to say good-bye. As I was exiting, I noticed someone in the corner, actually two people in the corner. Both I hadn't spoken to in a long while: Haymitch and Gale.

Haymitch seemed as pleasant as a resting cat, not really bothered by Peeta's outburst. I suppose Haymitch was tired of my sass as anyone. Gale was different, though. Gale was as livid at Peeta as Peeta was at me. I walked out of the gym. I walked out of the gym and guess who I ran into, or rather stumbled upon: Prim and Bandy.

I knew Prim was going to talk to Bandy, but not thinking this soon. They were talking pleasantly, like they were speaking of weather. I stayed around the corner, and eavesdropped. I know I could've come around that corner and have easily joined in on the conversation, or have ignored it. Then I heard something that made me stay put.

"You can't tell Katniss what I'm about to say," Bandy stage whispered.

"I promise I won't," Prim whispered back.

"Please don't judge me, either. What I am about to say has nothing to do with who I am, but it does have to do a lot with the way I act."

"Just tell me!" Prim hissed impatiently.

"Fine. You know how I was telling you I was never on good terms with my parents. Well, I was doing okay with my mother back at my old district, but it was really my father who I despised."

Prim nodded along, while I listened intently. _Bandy spit it out!_ I thought impatient as well. I wish I could take back that silent wish as he said, "President Snow is my father."

**Woah! Holy Mary Mother of God! What just happened? Was that too Star War-sy for anybody? I hope you all liked it. I KNOW it was later than I had said, a week later, BUT here it is with plot turns, new characters, and now we're finally getting back on track with the actual story.**

**From here on out, there will be less boy talk and more war talk. Are we all clear on that? **_**Yo mamma **_**(one of the reviewers) said I should get back on track, and I agree. **

**Everyone, PLEASE READ THIS!!!!! You have my mother to thank for the awesome idea of Snow being Bandy's father. Next chapter is will be mostly about him and learning of his past, Gale and what happened at District 12, and Haymitch with the war. BUT I WILL TAKE IDEAS.**

**Thank you to all my loyal followers. REVIEW! AND IF YOU DIDN"T READ ****ALL**** THE TOP OF THIS PAGE, THAN YOU WILL BE SORELY LOSING MY ATTENTION IN REVIEWS!**

**Yours truly,**

**Peeta's Lover**


	10. Mistakes and Memories

**PLEASE READ: I know for a fact that a lot of people subscribed to this story, but now no one is giving me praise, OR flame. I'm actually kind of sad that not as many people are reviewing as they are subscribing. Those of you who DID review, I am eternally grateful. Please read the bottom for further instruction of those who reviewed.**

**Here we go with chapter 10 (never thought I'd get this far!)**

* * *

Prim gasped. I didn't faint like most of the people who know me would think I would do. I _did_ feel the hall walls spin with speedy intensity. My eyes bugged out of my skull as Prim asked HOW COULD THIS BE! Well, she didn't yell it like that, but I _was_. In my head, I was screaming like a banshee from hell over the fact that Bandy at failed to mention this _crucial_ piece of information to me. Why? I can't imagine why he wouldn't want to tell me. That is when I knew I could possibly never love him.

No, it wasn't about Snow (demon-man) being his father; it was more about him two-facing me on this whole up-and-coming war. He should've told me about his second life! That brought a fresh thought to me, _why was he telling Prim and not me, his supposed love?_

I was spitting lava I was so angry. No one even tried to produce a conversation with me as I grabbed lunch and sat by myself near the entrance. I planned my day: Talk to Haymitch, talk to Gale, eat dinner, talk to Madge, talk to Prim, workout with Peeta, and _then_ I will talk to Bandy. I considered just skipping it all and heading to bed. I finished lunch in silence, not bothering to wonder where Peeta was.

As I was leaving, Prim entered with Bandy and I daren't even look in their general direction. As I stormed out the double doors, I heard Bandy call my name. I sharply turned on the threshold and glared so hard with my red face that the whole cafeteria was a bunch of gaping fish. Then in a deadly hiss I told him to go stick his lunch up his… well you get the picture.

I left in a whirl of fury only to bump into the one person who I was off to search for, Haymitch. He didn't say anything, just took a look at my face and motioned for me to follow him. I did and we ended up on the other side of the not particularly big building. He accessed a room with a key code for a lock on the door. The door slid open to reveal an old-fashioned dean's office: mahogany desk, leather chair, bookshelf, and papers scattered everywhere. Haymitch went over and leaned on the front of the desk facing me.

"Well, sweetheart, what is all the trouble I know you're causing?" Haymitch asked with a bored expression.

I felt all the pent-up rage and tears come spewing forth. I felt my face grow hot with tears trickling down my cheeks. All I could gasp out was, "They-- he-- why does he-- she knows-- he does-- why?"

Haymitch chuckled from my apparent confusion. He _knows_. I knew it from his face, that smugness he exudes showed it. He was unprepared for what I said next.

"You KNEW! Why in god's name has no one TOLD me! I'm Katniss, THE FREAKIN' face of this REVOLUTION! I should know every secret-- let it be about we're out of cheese, no more toilet paper, or if it be that we have Bandy, PRESIDENT SNOW'S SON!!!!!" My outburst sent Haymitch scrambling.

"Now listen, sweetheart. We didn't really have a choice in telling you- ," Haymitch started.

I cut him off, "You didn't have a CHOICE!" My voice went deadly silent, "You had as much a choice as I had a choice to have the will to live or die in the Games. I want the truth!"

"It goes against regulation. I can't tell you anything," Haymitch mumbled as he saw my rage flourished.

"AGAINST REGULATION! LYING SON OF A-," The door slammed open as I finished off the rest of the sentence.

A frazzled Prim, Bandy, Gale, Finnick, Peeta, Madge, and a few others barged in. Prim and Madge gasped at my language as I rambled off a few other choice words. Bandy smiled, Gale frowned, and Peeta lumbered forward to grab my shoulders. I pushed him away, but his growing strength prevailed and he stood firm. I still struggled as other hands forced me back.

"YOU LIE! TELL ME HAYNITCH! TELL ME THE TRUTH!" I screamed with such intensity that several people covered their ears in pain.

"Stop this, Katniss," Prim said as she came to put a hand on my shoulder.

I saw Prim_ clearly_ as my sister as she came forth. As soon as she put her hand on my shoulder, though, the world shifted. The lights dimmed to night, the ceiling spun into the starry sky, everyone disappeared, and I was sitting on the golden cornucopia watching Cato choke Peeta. Cato's hand was closing over my shoulder and I did one thing on instinct: I lashed out. I punched him clear in the nose without hesitation. I watched the blood spurt out between his fingers as he closed his hand gently over his nose. Peeta flipped Cato behind him… protecting him?

The world shifted and I was back in real time. Haymitch had my shoulders in his vice-like grip. I was staring at all the people who had come to inspect when I was yelling at Haymitch. They were all staring back with a seriousness that scared me. I heard Prim crying, and I glanced down. Peeta had knelt next to Prim, who was laying on her back with blood draining from her body and out her nose.

I understood what had just happened: I had a memory lapse and had thought Prim was Cato. Peeta _was_ actually there, but 'Cato' wasn't choking him. I looked up. Gale was staring sort of horrorstruck; he knows I'd never hurt Prim, and doing so out of indignant anger made him believe I couldn't control myself. Bandy looked at me in a startled way that made me feel uneasy.

I look upon Prim's weeping, bloody form, and then Peeta's steady gaze on me. He was the only one who would know what was happening to me. Maybe he didn't know exactly what was happening right now, but he would later when I explained my remembrance. Peeta would save me. He had to.

I guess I had finished the first thing on my list, and could cross it off: talk to Haymitch. Now I had to go find Gale. I was about to leave my room, when I heard a knock by none other than Gale himself. I ushered him in with a dazed expression. After they had escorted Prim to the medical room, everyone else left except Haymitch who led me to my room. I hadn't said anything then and didn't feel like it now with my hazy mind. _I can't believe I _hit_ her_, I thought.

I accidently said that thought out loud. Gale heard me as he sat down on my bed. He gestured for me to sit beside him. I did with a sigh… and a wary outlook because I didn't need Gale jumping me with a kiss like he had last time he was in my room. Gale appeared far more interested in Prim at the moment, though.

"So, what happened?" Gale started the conversation.

I hesitated with a lie on my tongue, and then thought better than to lie to him about Prim. I began again, "I thought I was in the Games."

He absorbed it before answering, "You were having a memory? Why did you hit Prim?"

"I imagined it was Cato, of course," I said. He looked confused, and I remembered he wasn't there to experience the pain and fear Cato caused to make _me_ remember him every day.

"He was the one who tried to kill Peeta at the end," I explained.

"Oh, the big guy. Yeah, yeah, I remember," Gale said.

I was surprised Gale said it with such lack of emotion. Yeah, the big guy Peeta and I were harmed, frightened, and nearly killed by. By the way, I did kill Cato and wonder every day if it was the right choice, and if instead I had just committed suicide and had it over with would've been easier. I _knew then_ that Gale wouldn't understand what I was going to say because he wasn't there to take it all in first hand. He wouldn't understand that me going though all that hell, might have been a waste if we don't win this war.

Haymitch, Finnick, Bandy, Gale, and all these other high ranking men may think I won't understand anything about the war so then they don't tell me, but they are dead wrong. I have seen death, killed myself, saved lives, given up home, given up my old life, given up my freedom just so the Districts would stay at peace with the Capitol… no matter how crappy that peace was. But, no one would leave it at that: a girl planned to die with her beloved. Or at that: a girl just wanted to marry her beloved without interference.

No, the Capitol, more or less President Snow,_ had_ to intervene with the rest of everyone's future by screwing up my suicide and my wedding, just so they can have their precious Games. Well, screw the Capitol for ruining my life, and screw everyone else for how they had to go ahead and have a rebellion now when I could've been just fine with Peeta and my family living in a big house in Victor's Village. As long as my family and friends were safe, I was cool with whatever the Capitol had to do or say about the Games.

Before the Games I wouldn't have been cool with it, just as Gale is now. But, here in the present, after going through the Games and living, I would choose my families safety and more killing Games over this peace-making war.

"Katniss, Cato isn't here," Gale whispered to me.

I looked at his slightly frightened face and asked, "What?"

"You were muttering Cato over and over again. I think you should talk to someone about this."

His look clearly stated he wasn't the one he wanted me to talk to. He was scared now and running away like a skittish kitten. Gale was afraid of me because I was unstable. He knew I was permanently changed from the Games. Gale has had too many unstable people in his life to be able to have or want anymore.

"I think that this is over."

Gale is confused, "What?"

"I know you can't handle me and my… baggage. I have seen things that you can't imagine and done things that could change the most bloodthirsty killer into a peace loving monk. I want you to know that I want you to have a full life. I want you to have a full life with someone who can actually love you without a limit, which I can't."

"You don't love me," it is a statement, and Gale looks accepting of my decision.

"I love you as everything but a boyfriend or a—a husband—or—you know what I mean!"

He laughs at my stutter and leans forward, "I think it goes for me, too. I might have loved you once, but now you are a changed woman... Can I still have one last kiss?"

I nod with a smile. Gale leans nearer, taking my hands in his callous ones. Our lips meet in one thrilled reunion. His hands brush through my hair, down my cheeks, over my sides, rubs back up by back and into my hair once more. I keep my hands steady on his face or neck as our mouths open for the big finale. My face was hot with emotion, as was my body, but I felt all the love Gale and I could've had in that one kiss. If he had stepped up all those years ago, if he had just taken me in his arms for _one_ moment back home, maybe after the first Games we could've _been_ if he tried to voice his thoughts of me more. I couldn't look back in the past now, though.

Our kiss, our more-than-sibling-love, was coming to a close; but a new chapter was opening up before my eyes. I couldn't resist the new life pathway any longer. Gale let the kiss linger, and then leaning back on his hands he gave a smile that told me 'it is all going to be okay'. I wanted so badly to believe that.

"I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow. Don't invite anyone over; I want to talk to you about our plans. I think Haymitch is wrong about not telling you what is going on," Gale said becoming more serious.

"Why don't you tell me now?" I questioned.

"I think you have more pressing matters to attend to," Gale whispers, opening the door wider I see what he was indicating.

I just saw Prim rounding the bend, a towel still pressed firmly to her face. I sigh through my nose and stand up. Gale closed the door behind me and I catch one last glance at the clock. It is dinner time. Gale headed off in the other direction saying something about an urgent meeting. I followed Prim, thinking she was going to the cafeteria. She veered off down another hallway, the one leading to her room.

Prim let herself in and I started after her trying to reach her before the door closed. She hadn't seen me, or at least I thought she hadn't, until the door was slammed behind her… and right in my face. I rested my forehead against the knob as I shift on to my knees. I huffed, exasperated with my acting out. I should've known I was just dreaming it all up with Cato and Peeta.

Then I hear sniffling behind the door. Prim let out a low sob, muffled by her hand, a pillow? I didn't know what she was crying in to; just that she was crying about what I had done was enough for me to lose it. I scamper backwards, stand up, compose myself with a deep breath, and walked myself into the cafeteria with faked dignity.

The urgent meeting Gale talked about must've been important enough to clear the place. I didn't have to wait in line or search for a seat, no one was there. Madge found her way over to my table after a few minutes. This was our time together: silence. Madge and I never really spoke about our life because it wasn't all that interesting. Usually, our lives would've revolved around our families: Madge's drunken mother and nice but greedy father, and my family consisting of a rejuvenating mother and younger sister. It would be untraditional to speak of them now, is how I thought of it.

Besides, we never spoke with words but with actions. She spoke with her actions at dinner by placing her slender fingers over my hand and just consoling me with her kind eyes. I never cried in front of anyone face to face on my own account except for my family, Gale (_once or twice over my father_), and that's all. Looking into Madge's crystal blue eyes reminded me off the purities of life. I wanted to be young and carefree with my bow in the woods with my father showing me the ropes of hunting. I needed my daddy, but he wasn't there to hug me until the bear ran away, or until the hawk flew off like in the olden days we had together. Madge was here, though, and that was good enough for now.

I let tears that had been upbraided from before slip past my eyelids, past my cheeks, and down until they dripped onto our intertwined hands. Madge leaned forward as I fell into her shoulder. I didn't sob or whimper, but I cried with a never stopping force. Everyone that _had_ been in the cafeteria before, were now long gone, and I felt safe with Madge stroking my hair. Her own golden locks were soft as they fell across my face, swiping at my tears. She stayed there hugging me until I stopped my tear shed and felt well enough to get up on my own.

Madge may not have been there to fight off the woods, the jungle, the ocean, or a bunch of killer hungry kids with me, but she still understood me. She didn't understand my pain but rather understood my _essence._ Madge got my soul through and through because we were one in the same. She left after I had pleaded for her to get some rest.

I now had the biggest part on my list to complete: talk to Prim. I stepped out of the double doors with my apology at arm. I wouldn't tell her about what it was like in the Games, because I couldn't live knowing I caused her more nightmares than she probably already has. I already arrived at her door. My apology slinked away, and so did my headstrong-self as she opened the door after my feeble knock.

Her baby-face was tearstained like mine still was.

**Welp, how was it? I got this out faster than my last chappy. I know it is slower than… a slow thing, but it wraps up a few things before I get into the action. The next chapter will start out slowly, but speed up when we get to Bandy –insert goo-goo eyes—I love that man! **

**Reviewers: **_**Bookie, Pita-BreaD-RoCkS, Nicole, and Georgia **_**(there were 3 Georgia's names on the reviews for chapter 9, so if there's 3 of you so be it, otherwise 'hi one person that reviews a lot!').**

**You reviewers get to do something special: I'm soon going to do a drabble story for the Hunger Games and I want ideas. Give me your ideas in a private message or your next review. I'll write your ideas with the exception of me changing the rating of it. But for now you can just give me K to M ratings if you want!**

**That is all, my little duckies! REVIEW (even if it is crap) or else I won't post the next chapter… ever.**

**P.L. signing off**


	11. Fix to Right

**Hello, ya'll! (I felt like going a bit country there) Anyways… this is the last chapter… I know it is probably a surprise but, what can you do? I didn't get a single review and no one even subscribed or anything –tear- Just kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

** Did I have you going there? PUH-LEESE! Like I would stop the story like right in the middle of it! This ole gal has another several chapters coming forth. I don't know how many exactly, BUT I know for sure how everything is going to end. For sure. Of course, people can send little tips or requests for the chapters before the end. **

** On with life in the universe of… KATNISS THINKS!**

* * *

God, life is tough on me. When I saw Prim's porcelain-like face, strength came surging back into me. I felt the blood pumping in my heart rush to my face. I was embarrassed for letting my emotions completely control me. The tears were long gone from crying so much, but Prim still managed one to slip past the corner of her eye, down her nose, and fall to the floor. She had to make me feel crappy, first, before I got to apologize. That was just Prim starting to prepare her for accepting the apology, but it still made me feel like she was milking this cow dry.

"Can I come in?" I gruffly stated. She nodded and opened the door another hair wider.

"What do you need?" Oh, right. She was playing the-it's-not your-fault-tear-jerker-act. I could see that attack coming a mile away, since I used it on my father to let me hunt with him all the time when he was around.

"Of course, I want to talk," I muttered my pride still rebelling at the act of weakness.

"About what?" Prim did not just pull that out of thin air. She was now playing with me, to get an even bigger apology.

"You know… what happened earlier," I hissed, starting to get frustrated with her reluctance to just get the whole ordeal over with.

"Maybe if you told me, Katniss, I would remember," Prim whispered.

"You know darn well what I'm talking about!" I yelled, my emotions once more forming an image in my mind.

The image was just as vivid as the last one: I was sitting in the cave with Peeta. He was annoying me with personal questions that I felt no need to answer. I remembered this day as one of the few hotter, quieter days we had to relax and scavenge for food. We hadn't been in the cave, then, we had been out on the rocks getting fresh air.

"_I don't know what you are saying! I know nothing of Gale, and he seems interesting. Interesting to you, and you to him, at least," _Peeta's jealousy obvious, though not to me then. I hadn't known he wasn't faking his love in the first Games.

_"You know darn well what I'm talking about! We didn't like each other like that, just as brother and sister at the most," _I snapped back knowing it wasn't true. I was interested in him… then.

Peeta and I continued to argue, but I was confused by my contradicting thoughts. I was in the moment thinking of Peeta's words, but then I was in the_ actual_ present thinking of how to escape this dream. The edges of the memory started to fade. The cave walls blurred as reality sank back.

"…is she…"

"She's blinking…"

"…moving…"

I heard various voices close to my ear, but I couldn't reply back. I willed my body to sit up, but it had all the intention of just lying there unconscious. Mentally, I exhaled with a hint of anger. I started to get agitated with these 'flashbacks'. I started thinking of Finnick's girl, the crazy beauty, and how she went crazy after the Games. I hop with all my might that I won't become like her.

I could hear everything, but felt too groggy to try to call out. Numerous people came and checked my vitals, came to talk to my supposedly comatose state of mind, or once I heard quite a scandalous tale of a doctor and another nurse, perhaps. Have I mentioned I can't see? Well, I can't so, I have to go by ear and guess who is next to me. Prim visited the most, and Madge always tagged along with her. Peeta visited by himself and talked to me about his paintings, which I enjoyed. Haymitch came in occasionally to make sure I wasn't dead. But no one else bothered or had time to see me.

I was almost positive Gale would check in. I figured he had a lot of work to do, as well as Bandy. Bandy was still an iffy subject to tread over, even in my own mind. I knew we could never be now that I figured out his origins; but he doesn't know I know, so why wouldn't he come? It still gives me tiny gross-out sessions to think of Snow as a father with that ugly ensemble, and blood red lipstick. I amused myself by imagining him as the mother instead of another female.

Bandy's mother was a mystery. I wondered what it was like to have to watch the world crumble under her husband's boot. I could only imagine the pain she must have felt, and the angst Bandy was going through. As soon as my body decided I was revived, I was heading towards Bandy first. Then again, I have to smooth things over with Prim too. I also got to tell Peeta everything, AND I have to help _him_ revive his body. God, I had a lot to do. And that doesn't even cover how I'm going to stop Snow and save the world and its people from ultimate doom.

*

I was 'asleep' for five days. FIVE DAYS. I had a _month_ to help plan an attack on the Capitol. A MONTH.

I awoke and immediately felt sick with starvation. Prim nursed me to a suitable physical condition. We haven't gone over the hit I gave her. For now, I am meant to stay away from stressful situations. What a laugh that is, because my whole life is a stressful situation. I have gone back to working out with Peeta. We've talked some about my jumbled thoughts.

"What do you think triggers the flashbacks?" Peeta yells as he punches the sand out of a burlap sack. He was more recovered than I at the moment, since I was just let out of the sickbay.

"I don't positively know. I think if I'm under stress I bad memory comes back. When I'm listening to repeated words from an old conversation, relatively good memories come back," I answer from the floor as I do sit ups.

Peeta stops to take a swig of water, and pants out, "Well that's good we know that. Otherwise, we might never know when they hit. We can't have you punching anymore people, even by accident. We need all the man power we can get."

He doesn't realize I'm still sore over punching Prim. Peeta looks at my sour expression with a sad smile, "You know it wasn't your fault, Katniss."

He gives me a hand up as I reply, "I know, but it still hurts to know I can't control my own actions. I want to apologize, but that means telling her about the darker sides of her world. The Games are only part of her worries. I don't think she understands-,"

He cuts me off, "She doesn't understand? You aren't giving her a lot of credit. Prim knows about death, Katniss. That is all she needs to know to survive this war."

Peeta went back to pounding his knuckles into the sand bag. I contemplate his wise words with an open mind. Perhaps I have demeaned Prim's capacity for fear and knowledge. She was grown up now, and I would have to accept that.

*

What I can't accept was Bandy's new found past. It churned my stomach to even think of him as the spawn of that vile, low-life President Snow. I know that it's like judging a book by its cover, or rather judging Bandy by his origin. I will talk to him before the end of today, positively… after I talk to Prim, workout with Peeta, chat with Peeta, eat lunch, nap, eat dinner, speak with Haymitch, talk with Gale, snack, another nap, clean room, exercise, gossip with Madge, snack, and then I'll converse with Bandy…. maybe.

* * *

**I know this is bit of a short chapter, but it leads me to the next chapter which will be longer and quite full with information. The last author note offer, for the people I said I'd write drabbles for, still stands! Happy Easter (for those who celebrate it)! Also, I just had spring break, so yeah for me!**


	12. Golden Girls

**Disclaimer: (Haven't done one of these in awhile.) I don't own Hunger Games… blahthissucksblah.**

**I forgot to mention I got a lot of reviews last chappy, which I'm eternally grateful for. People, don't feel afraid to point out serious mistakes, or drop an idea in on me. Please, I beg of you. I skimmed over this whole story and I can't believe I wrote it; maybe it's because I've got horrible memory, but I don't remember like half of the things I put down. Strange, isn't it? I also found a crap load of lesser errors, but I'll fix that in good sweet time.**

**I made titles for each chappy, so there is a little sweet surprise-grins-.**

* * *

I was running through a jungle. Vines whipped in my face, insects whizzed by, puddles splashed beneath the soles of my bare feet. Tears were streaming down my face, tickling my neck, and soaking into the collar of my shirt. As I choked on the wind stinging my lungs, I saw the bright light at the end of the tunnel. My head swiveled around taking in the exotic plants with various colors, as I slowed to a walk. The light hurt my eyes, but it mesmerized me to the point where the pain mattered not.

Then I realized where I was… the 75th Hunger Games arena. I stared into the white light; as my eyes adjusted I saw the figure of a… something. Oh it was definitely a person, but who I didn't know.

"Oh, how could you forget me Katniss?" I blanched at the oh-so familiar voice. My father stepped out of the haze, and I couldn't faint since this was a dream. I stood there agape. I haven't had a dream of him since the Games. All of my sleep had been filled with nightmares of blood and death with no room for happier times in the woods shooting practice shots under a canopy of trees.

I ran to his side and wept into his shoulder. He was wearing a frayed brown shirt, black, saggy pants and his mud-coated leather boots. He held me so tight, but I would rather be smothered than let go. I can't believe I almost forgot what his peppered hair and wide smile and rugged good looks, _looked_ like.

I couldn't speak, but I didn't have to as he explained, "Sometimes the mind is in such a fix, it can't get out without help. I am your help, Kat, but you have to let me. It seems you are having trouble with not just your sister, but the world. Why don't you tell me about it?"

I was choking on the misty air and my sobs as I told him of my life. It all just popped out without restraint. It is hard to resist the man who I spent my life with. I started with the reaping when Prim's name was called, and ended with the day I hit Prim. My dad had missed a lot obviously. Though it was a just a dream, my father comforted me and it felt magical to get all the problems on to the table. And man was my table filthy! I started to cool off, so I figured my slumber was wearing off.

"Katniss, honey, never doubt you. Yes, you do make the problems in your own life and others, but you are also the only one that can fix it. Fixing things by your lonesome is a tough job, so never deny help from what people offer you," my father whispered into my hair, and pulled away. He was beginning to fade into the white mist yet I still was holding onto him. "I will always be here, Kat, if you need me. But first you have to try helping yourself. Sometimes you and only you, without the help of friends, can stop the chaos in your world."

Then he was gone. I sat on the damp jungle ground, until the ground water seeped through my clothes. I didn't cry after that. I wandered around the jungle trying to find my way back home. Home is all I could think about after seeing my dad. I wanted to see my dilapidated house, sparse grassy yard, my cracker box school, the in-the-distance coal mines, thick woods, and mostly… Prim. Peeta first told me Prim was capable of handling the truth, and now my dad was saying to fix my problems before they eat me alive.

Cooling off from earlier, I assumed that I was waking up. Now that I was freezing, I sat with my back against a palm tree and waited patiently for day to hit me. I breathed in and out, in, out, and in again. I breathed in and blinked twice before I realized I was staring at my bedroom ceiling. I sighed in pleasure at the first time I've had a good night's sleep and dreams since before my father passed on. I sat on the edge of my bed, letting the cool floor reach my soles in chilly bliss. I was overly heated wrapped in my layers of blankets. I leaned back on the palms of my hands and felt a soggy pillow. I must've cried for real when I met my father in my dreams.

I wrenched my fingers through my tangled hair and decided to wash up. When I stepped out of the shower, the humidity choked me momentarily and I was taken back to something I had long since forgotten: I was out in the woods with Gale. It was a regular run for extra food, but something was wrong, no animals to _get _extra food _from. _Gale was getting water from the stream a hundred feet or so from where I was watching birds quickly whisk through the air… away from me. I stared in the direction they were coming from and saw a heavy cloud of smoke from a wild fire. Gale came rushing back just as it started to pour. The mixture of the heat and water left the world in a humid mist.

I came back to present time. Strange, I thought, my flashbacks don't just involve the Games. I toweled off, put on a white t-shirt, black jacket, and blue jeans. I padded barefoot out of my room and down the hall to Prim's room. I had glanced at the clock before and noticed the earlier hour of 7 a.m. I tentatively knocked on her wooden door. She came to me in a few seconds, rumpled but awake.

"What do you wan- Oh, Katniss. Come in," Prim whispered with a confused look.

I shyly stepped over the threshold. Prim went to her bed, the covers strewn on the floor. I suddenly thought waking her up wasn't a good idea, and took a step back out the door.

Prim quickly stood up and frantically yelled, "Don't leave! I've been waiting for you to come. I miss you Katniss, please let me say something first."

I hesitate. My animal instinct is saying "run, fool!" because it doesn't need the pressure. My human side, with a warm heart and analytical brain, is saying you _need_ to hear what your_ sister_ has to say. I step back in, trusting my common sense, and take a stiff seat on the scratchy covers on the edge of the bed. Prim sighed in relief. She took her seat from before next to me on the bed, causing us to bounce for a moment.

"Katniss, even though you disapprove of his ways, Gale told me you thought you were back in the Games. I'm scared for you, because I don't want you to hurt yourself."

That roused me a little. "Hurt myself? I hurt _you_, Prim. I lost control, and I hit you. I swore to do everything I could to keep you alive after dad died. Don't you be scared for me! Be scared that one day I might slip and kill again. I can't kill again. I will die if I do. Watching a lifetime of Hunger Games, and experiencing two, have put me through too many human deaths a person can take," my voice had cracked in the middle. I tried to breathe to stop the tears from coming, but I knew it was too late. Yet I still blinked vigorously to stop the oncoming flow.

Prim saw this. Being Prim, you automatically laugh and cry when others laugh and cry, because she is easily manipulated by others' emotions. Her tears were coming faster than mine, and seeing my dear, sweet Prim cry broke the dam. "Katniss, I love you. You are all I want and need and I'd give my life for you!"

I got angry, "Don't you ever say that! I never want you to give your life up for mine. You deserve to live, to heal the sick, and care for a family one day. You deserve so much more than you are given. I have wished all my life that I could buy you a life of luxury, and all I can scrape up is a full stomach _occasionally_."

"No. You have given me love and have listened to my stories and opinions like they're the last word in everything. I have been grateful for everything you have done for me. I know you've given up so much. You risked your life for me and mom every day. I forgave you for hitting me as soon as it happened. And not just because you risked your life, but because you are my sister, you provide for our family, and you didn't know. You didn't know what was happening with your flashbacks. You need to stop begging for my forgiveness, and start on yourself. Stop punishing yourself because you feel I don't love you anymore. I do, with all my heart. That will never change. If you need me, Kat, I'll always be here."

That last sentence is exactly what my father said towards the end of my dream. I nod at Prim, hearing her. She has grown up so much emotionally. But then I look at her chubby cheeks, silky hair, drying tears, and see the little girl who sleeps with a mangy cat on a creaky bed with my mother when a bad dream plagues her. Her tears are dried up completely, and mine stopped during her speech. I admire her, and want to be her. She's so innocent, while I'm sitting here tainted with the blood of man on my hands and the reek of death on my clothes.

"I'll always be here too, Prim. Always," I whisper. I hug her tight to my chest, not seeing any time in the near future where I'll be letting her go. She snuggles up to me and we fall fast asleep, dreaming of picking dandelions and milking the goat and listening to mom sing with that voice so sweet, you swear you hear the rustle of angel's feet.

*

After I awoke at noon, Prim and I headed to the cafeteria with linked arms. A hush fell over the diners. Gale was over by Madge talking; he looks up at the disturbance, and finds us. His smile is so bright; I have to blink like the sun is in my eyes. We retrieve our food and instead of eating with eager-to-know eyes, we eat in the gym.

The work out equipment is safely tucked away. We finish the surprisingly tasty vegetable stew. Prim gives a girlish giggle, and stands on the bench we are lounging on. She sticks out her hands and takes flight. I was mystified as she jumped off the bench and twirled around. She was dancing. Seeing someone sing, which she had started to do too, isn't odd, just in_ public _it is. Seeing someone dance only happens if you live like a billionaire in the Capitol, with expensive balls around the corner every week. Seeing someone sing _and_ dance is extinct. But with Prim, it was just right for her lithe form.

"Join me, my lady," Prim bows to me, palm out, like she's a fine gentleman wanting my hand so to swoon me on the ball room floor. Of course, this was just a cleared gym floor; but for the moment, it was glittering with fancy tableware, sparkling chandeliers, mockingjays perched above us with golden feathers, serenading us, and everything was gilded: the chairs, the tables, the walls, the ceiling, the floors, and ourselves. We were golden dancing and singing in harmony.

I took the role as man, as we waltzed our way around the polished floor. We merrily chatted about so-and-so asking who-knows-who to dance with them over the customary three dance slots. Scandalous. We ate at the refined table, set with crystal and lace. We sang of home and love, our voices uniting to an unearthly melody as they rose to the heavens. Soon, the fanfare wore off, we stopped pretending, but our high spirits stayed. For once, hate was out of the picture completely, and all of its relatives.

A man came jogging in as we just sat down to rest our pounding hearts. His message, "Prim, Madge needs you right away about… urgent matters."

Prim caught my confused look as I escorted her out and explained, "It is a surprise that we set up for you. You will find out tonight! Don't look so cranky! I promise you'll love it. But you have to promise to stay here."

After I gave my word, she scurried off to do what only god knows what. I pulled out a few weights, unsuccessfully trying to haul the bulkier ones up. I have an itchy feeling in my arms. I haven't been practicing with bow and arrows lately. Since, the Games, I haven't touched them. Every time I look at one, I'm overcome with distraught. They remind me too much of the Games. I figure I'd just have another flashback, anyways, if I touched one.

Prim has been gone for two whole minutes, and I'm already bored out of my right mind. Then I hear a rustle on the balcony and snap my head up.

"Long time no see," Peeta says loud enough for me to hear about ten feet down.

I scrutinize him with a quick glance. He's wearing a burgundy shirt, black pants, and leather boots. This outfit is so alike to the one we were on the first day in training in the 74th Hunger Games, I'm left grasping at reality. As the cloud hurtles in, I hear pounding footsteps and someone screaming at me. I deduce Peeta saw me falling into another flashback. He was shaking me so hard, my head snapping back and forth, causing a million pinpricks of light to obscure my vision from the pain. My whole body trembled from the force of the oncoming vision. I couldn't breathe or scream.

Suddenly, the weight was lifted from my chest; the screams I want to let out subside with the relaxed feeling that passes over me. That wasn't a flashback or anything like it. My eyes opened to a blurry hospital room. Damn, I've been here more in the last month, than I have in my entire life.

"You're awake. Good thing too, sweetheart, because we've got a problem."

I groan and seriously desire to fall back into my stupor. I was gravely disappointed.

**Wow. I have actually left somewhat of a cliffhanger. I hope this one was long enough to satisfy than that of last chapter.**

**News: **

**I have written a first chapter of a drabble for **_**KatnissEverdeen**_**, called "Just What the Doctor Ordered". **

**I will write a one-shot or even a poem for those who review.**

_**StarsLeanDownToKissYou-**_** Where are you? You still owe me a story, and I still owe you a drabble.**

_**Georgia**_**- a drabble is a short story usually finished between one and five chapters. I could go longer for you if it works out like that. So in a review, just tell me what you want it to basically be about, and I'll fill in the blanks.**

**That is all. Oh wait, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**P.S. The line "voice so sweet, you swear you hear the rustle of angel's feet" is a bit changed from the song **_**Gods Gonna Cut You Down**_** by Johnny Cash. It is one kick-butt song!**


	13. Author Note: IMPORTANT!

Hello. I haven't updated in quite some time-sheepish grin-. I'm trying to sort everything out, all the details, so I can make this an accurate story for you. I also want it to be a great read. So, please hand in there for me, while I gather my thoughts and put them down on paper! I love you all –blows kisses-. You could give suggestions, or complain about the wait, or whatever… Just don't' give up on me! It might take me a couple of weeks to do this, and no longer than a couple of months.

Love,

Peeta's Lover


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